Thursday, June 08, 2006

Do you not KNOW me?

John 8:12-20
Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life." So the Pharisees said to Him, "You are testifying about Yourself; Your testimony is not true." Jesus answered and said to them, "Even if I testify about Myself, My testimony is true, for I know where I came from and where I am going; but you do not know where I come from or where I am going. You judge according to the flesh; I am not judging anyone. But even if I do judge, My judgment is true; for I am not alone, but I and the Father who sent Me. Even in your law it has been written that the testimony of two men is true. I am He who testifies about Myself, and the Father who sent Me testifies about Me." So they were saying to Him, "Where is Your Father?" Jesus answered, "You know neither Me nor My Father; if you knew Me, you would know My Father also." These words He spoke in the treasury, as He taught in the temple; and no one seized Him, because His hour had not yet come.

Bear with me today as I am overwhelmed by mutliple thoughts, emotions and lots of tears - both of joy and sadness. I hope to be able to boil all of these down to a point. At this moment, this seems no easy task.

I have subscribed to to begin receiving daily scriptures. The scriptures and messages I selected are from the book, "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. Along with today's scripture, John 8:17, came these thoughts:

"If you do not cut the moorings, God will have to break them by a storm and send you out. Launch all on God, go out on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and you will get your eyes open. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the smooth waters just inside the harbour bar, full of delight, but always moored; you have to get out through the harbour bar into the great deeps of God and begin to know for yourself, begin to have spiritual discernment. When you know you should do a thing, and do it, immediately you know more. Revise where you have become stodgy spiritually, and you will find it goes back to a point where there was something you knew you should do, but you did not do it because there seemed no immediate call to, and now you have no perception, no discernment; at a time of crisis you are spiritually distracted instead of spiritually self-possessed. It is a dangerous thing to refuse to go on knowing. The counterfeit of obedience is a state of mind in which you work up occasions to sacrifice your self; ardour is mistaken for discernment. It is easier to sacrifice yourself than to fulfil your spiritual destiny, which is stated in Romans 12:1-2. It is a great deal better to fulfill the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. "To obey is better than sacrifice." Beware of harking back to what you were once when God wants you to be something you have never been. 'If any man will do .. . he shall know."

As I read this, some moments that have occurred over the past few weeks come to mind. The first one was when my grandmother asked me, "Danielle, why didn't you become a school teacher?" My reply was, "because I am a dance teacher, and acting teacher, and a director." She then retorted, "Well, you certainly haven't made your life easy!"

Lately, my husband (of all people) has been very concerned about the amount of time and energy I put into this blog and to church. He feels that I need to be working on the theatre company, teaching my dance classes, cleaning the house, raising the kids - not wasting time. Don't get me wrong, he loves the fact that I go to church, but I sense some confusion coming from him when I stay for all three services on Sunday and return Sunday night. He's afraid of computers, so there's no point in explaining this blog to him.

Recently, a very cushy job opportunity arose for me. It was an Executive Director position of a project that I helped start. The organization had been incubated into a greater level of existence in the time that I've been gone from the incubating agency, and now the position has been created. I intimated to you that money isn't exactly coming easy to us lately. This position could have provided a lot for us had I gone for it.

I searched my heart and searched my heart, but I couldn't apply. Flashing Dollar Signs are not enough to take me off the path God has intended for me.

I'm feeling like Jesus lately. The more I soak in the Son, so to speak, the more those around me are scratching their heads and losing their patience with me and my choices.

"Do you not know me? Do you not know my Father?" reverberates in my head. Clothing a dance team and building sets for the church musical is JOY to me, not a chore. It is the living out of my Faith, using the talents and gifts God has given me to bring Him GLORY!

And then, I see the sign. Oh how I seek signs! I believe everyone has a scripture for their life. Mine has always been Romans 12:2. How can I ignore then, my being sent a message that points me to Romans 12:1-2?

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, {which is} your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

As the message states, "It is a great deal better to fulfill the purpose of God in your life by discerning His will than to perform great acts of self-sacrifice. "To obey is better than sacrifice." Beware of harking back to what you were once when God wants you to be something you have never been. 'If any man will do .. . he shall know."

I will not turn back to that woman who knew God, but could not express God. I will not live only acknowedging God or seeking God on Sundays. I know God wants me to be something I have never been, and as I do, I know.

If you too, are being persecuted against, misunderstood, feeling thrown off your path by opinions or temptations around you, stay on your path. It has often been said that "we must be doing something right, because Satan is working really hard."

Stay faithful. Give Him praise. Keep doing. He will show you and you will know.