tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-273474902024-02-06T21:25:42.904-05:00The Naked TurtleThrough the power of Jesus Christ, this turtle no longer needs a shell...Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-44216061824610094512018-01-14T13:01:00.000-05:002018-01-14T13:23:31.361-05:00ISO: Gently Used Dr. Seuss Books<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyeRGR9OZcsjVz5fslRo7LIJQLBbuz3mLbBbmmJA5-ntU5MQdmWZxbz1KAiSy5uQTbmVbR5mdupWCm2lZ2hOaGlPVDgG6pwTF10heC_fvu8JN0764OVjTJo57KxdfNvFjTJlnn6Q/s1600/Bookcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1057" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyeRGR9OZcsjVz5fslRo7LIJQLBbuz3mLbBbmmJA5-ntU5MQdmWZxbz1KAiSy5uQTbmVbR5mdupWCm2lZ2hOaGlPVDgG6pwTF10heC_fvu8JN0764OVjTJo57KxdfNvFjTJlnn6Q/s320/Bookcover.jpg" width="211" /></a> The title of this blurb should be, "My Life as a Mobile Therapist," but since it's doubling as a plea for donations, I needed it to have more visibility and share-ability; maybe even copy and paste-ability.<br />
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I am looking for donations of gently used Dr. Seuss books to develop a reward system for my Mobile Therapy clients. I came across an insanely fun box of 255 Dr. Seuss stickers, all organized by book, and I came up with the following idea:<br />
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For every day a child earns 80% of his daily reward points for goals in areas such as emotional regulation, compliance, and sometimes chores or hygiene, the child will earn a sticker which will be affixed to a bookmark made out of foam paper, with a little yarn tassel at the top. When the child fills the bookmark with 10 to 14 stickers, I will gift them the book connected to the bookmark. So when the <i>Green Eggs and Ham</i> sticker collection bookmark is filled due to good behavior, the client will be rewarded with the book, <i>Green Eggs and Ham</i>. The bonus reward is the child and I get to spend time reading together. I then encourage the parents to let their child read it to them, or even read it to their child throughout the week.<br />
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So.... here are the titles I need:<br />
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<i>One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish<br />Yertle the Turtle<br />The Cat in the Hat<br />How the Grinch Stole Christmas</i><br />
<i>Green Eggs and Ham<br />Fox in Socks<br />The Lorax<br />I had trouble in getting to Solla Sallew<br />Horton Hears a Who<br />The Sneetches and Other Stories</i><br />
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<i> </i>If I am truly going to be transparent with you; if I am truly going to be The Naked Turtle, I have to admit to all of you: friends, family, readers, and acquaintances, that I am fighting a spiritual battle inside my soul right now. Every runner is all too familiar with "The Wall." Just before a runner comes to the last leg of the race, it is as if the body shuts down and says, "Nope." Many runners gauge their success on how they handle that wall and finish their race.<br />
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My wall is Fear, and I am fully aware of all facets of this monster in my life. I am sooooo close to getting my manuscript off to my agent to shop around for publishers, and suddenly, the fear in me speaks. "How are you going to handle your story being out there, Danielle? Judgment and rejection are your greatest enemies, and your gonna toss yourself out there like a piece of meat for crows to shred with their beaks and talons?"<br />
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Yesterday, I had a 4 hour session with a 14 year old client. All of her life she has been diagnosed as having Autism. I don't see one lick of Autism; I see Complex Trauma. At six months old, my client's mother decided she just couldn't handle a baby, so she handed my client over to the care of her grandmother whom she now calls, "Mom." The child is riddled with attachment issues. She will allow you to get so close, and then she will lash out at you to make sure you don't get too close because she doesn't know how to receive love. We had a full out war. She is a typical teenager who can't see how stressing over things she can't control is not helping her. Holding on to and attaching to inanimate objects that lead to hoarding behaviors is not helping her. Shifting her piles of cosmic debris around the room, instead of collecting it and throwing it, or giving it. away, will not get her room clean. In the end, she wanted me to leave and she refused to sign her paperwork. Ya know what? Fine. I had better things to do on a Saturday than be challenged and bossed around by a 14 year old. As we were closing the session, I was attempting to restore, and then she suddenly asked, "Miss Danielle, what kind of dog do you have?" I replied, "A Cocker Spaniel. He's 14 years old." The client responded, "I'm sorry Miss Danielle, for everything. I like to be in control of my... stuff."<br />
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Kid, don't I know it.<br />
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I taught her the Native American practice of asking your Higher Self if you truly need something in life.You hold the object to your heart and close your eyes. If you fall forward, you were meant to have it. If you fall backwards, it is not meant to be. I can accept a "no" from my Higher Self much more gracefully than I respond to my carnal self. We returned to session and were laughing and singing to the radio by the end of it. My client had successfully begun to fill three boxes of clothes, toys, and books she was finally willing to give away.<br />
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I drove home the ten miles which takes thirty minutes home. I was emotionally and psychologically spent. Because I take Thrive, my physical body wanted to go, go, go, but unfortunately, writing or documentation, (the things I should have been doing,) required mental clarity which was greatly diminished by the emotional and psychological wallop of my day.<br />
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Last night, I desperately wanted to post, "If this were not a Calling..." But I don't want to seem ungrateful. God took the ugliness of my life and turned it into something beautiful. Isaiah 61:3-4 declares, "<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">To all who mourn in Israel,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 10px;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">a joyous blessing instead of mourning,</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">festive praise instead of despair. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks</span><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Isa-61-3" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">that the <span class="small-caps" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal;">Lord</span> has planted for his own glory.</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> "</span><br />
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Even mighty oaks must withstand their seasons.<br />
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So am I ready to throw myself out there like a piece of meat? I guess I am, but I would like to think of it as an offering, just as Christ offered His life for us. Am I crying all the way? Pretty much. But again, my carnal self kicks against the pricks when His Spirit is doing Its greatest work in me.<br />
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How cool is my job? I get to help people change their lives, AND play with Dr. Seuss stickers! As I continue to find things for which to praise Him, the wall of fear is coming down. I know what I must do.<br />
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Oh, and if by chance you do have some Dr. Seuss books from the above list of titles to donate, please contact me at my email: drms.mhc@gmail.com or send me a message or post on Facebook.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-8583154243316152252017-12-27T13:32:00.001-05:002017-12-27T13:32:19.994-05:00Going Through the Stages Death is such an anomaly. It is paradoxical; an oxymoron all within 5 letters.Our human responses to it, just as varied. I find death and grieving particularly difficult around the holidays. In recent years, I have lost a significant number of family members within days of Christmas and New Year's; the number continues to grow.<br />
My first experience with death that I remember was when my Aunt Cornelia died. She was my maternal grandmother's sister. As is our family's tradition, Aunt Cornelia was brought home to die from cancer. Family members took shifts around the clock to feed her ice chips, brush her hair, and provide pain medication. Visitors came to her home in Ashland to say their good-byes, and yet, I did not understand that she was dying.<br />
I slept at my Aunt Verdilla's back in West Milton, and left my grandmother to tend to my frail aunt. The next morning, the phone on the wall rang, and Aunt Verdilla answered it. I heard her voice choke up and I saw tears on her cheeks as she turned around. She didn't say anything except, "Let's go," and we got in the car and ran seemingly meaningless errands. It wasn't until the family gathered at my grandmother's house, and I sat in my Aunt Hazel's lap at the dining room table, that I finally had the courage to ask, "What happened?" My Aunt Hazel replied, "Aunt Cornelia went to live with Jesus." In my bewildered, innocent 7 year old mind, I envisioned my Aunt Cornelia standing on an elevator with square suitcases in her hands, and riding it up to the clouds where Jesus would greet her.<br />
When my cousin, Katrina, and I entered the funeral home, our eyes were directed straight ahead where my Aunt Cornelia's coffin lay, with track lighting causing it to almost glow. We stood in line, waiting to go up to the coffin, view the body, and say a prayer. When it was finally our turn, as we bowed our heads to pray, Aunt Cornelia's stomach appeared to exhale. I looked at Katrina; Katrina looked at me. We swiftly walked away from the casket and back to our aunt's house around the corner, completely freaked out by what had just happened, even if only in our minds. <br />
I wasn't allowed to attend my Nana's funeral the following year. Nana was my father's paternal grandmother, and my great-grandmother; she lived with us until she died. I guess it was not the custom for children to go to funerals on my father's side of the family, so I was left home with a babysitter. My mother told me to remember how she was when she was healthy. Although I have always felt the sting of having no closure, I learned to remember how she doted on me and argued with my 3 year old brother. It was always quite comical.<br />
As I got older, death became... well, a part of life. The most tragic death I experienced was when my school friend, Kelli, was killed in a car accident when we were 14. The car was driven by another childhood friend, who survived. I eventually came to terms with Kelli's passing, once again, toughening up my resolve. By this time, I had learned more fully who Jesus was, and what Heaven might be like, so I had a peace developing within me that helped me to further accept death as a "home-going," rather than a painful departure. Through the teachings of authors like Ray Bradbury and Carolyn Myss, I began to see that relationships walk a path for a while through life, but sometimes, those paths must fork for two people to go off in different directions. The beauty of love is best experienced when two people can part ways and celebrate the time they had together, as well as the lessons they had the opportunity to learn, rather than curse the other person for their need to leave. It has become a healthy perspective to take, and one which has helped me to work through my Stages of Grief more fluidly when someone departs.<br />
This morning, at 5 a.m., my fiancee's niece, Mandy, died. She was 37. For months, she had a severe cough and sought medical treatment, but repeatedly was sent home with antibiotics. Two weeks ago, she was finally given a chest x-ray and a diagnosis: Stage 3 Lung Cancer, Complicated by Pneumonia. Unfortunately, with the level of infection in her body, Chemotherapy was not an option unless they could eradicate the pneumonia. They attempted radiation, which seemed to be working to shrink the tumors, but she developed uncontrollable nosebleeds, so the treatment had to be stopped. She was given the option to go home with Hospice, but there would be nothing else anyone could do. She had one last choice to make: die at home, or die in the hospital. She chose to go home, but she never made it.<br />
As I am completing my manuscript, "Climbing Out of the Daddy Hole," which examines the pain which results from physical and emotional absence and how it contributes to Complex Trauma, my heart is having trouble with this one. Just like the messed up puzzle of emotions that I became when my 30 year old friend, Thaddeus Davis, died earlier this year, with his fifth baby on the way, I cannot wrap my brain around how to find peace in the midst of this pain. Mandy was the mother of 4 children between the ages of 8 and 14; four children who will now grow up with gaping Mommy Holes, unless prayerfully, someone steps into the gap for them.It doesn't seem fair; and it's overwhelming, for certain. Of course, as the therapist in the family, everyone is coming to me for advice. As much as I tell them their Stages of Grief are normal, and hope to encourage them with my technique of "celebrating the good times," I know my words are not convincing, nor comforting. My only hope is that my spirit somehow comforts theirs by being present.<br />
I know I am in the Mission Field, fulfilling my purpose to heal children who also suffer from Complex Trauma, in a world where it often goes on disguised or undetected. What I hadn't realized is how quickly and easily the number of victims of Complex Trauma continues to multiply. I think they call this job security? In fields such as mental health and corrections, however, it can be burdening to know you will always have a job. It also stinks when I have to face the reality of knowing I can't just use my magic fairy wand to make everything all better.<br />
I know that grief hurts most because of its focus on self. We hurt because essentially, we are not getting what we want; we want that loved one here with us. We want that Mommy or Daddy in their rightful place in their home so their children can have a chance to grow up whole! Yet, my faith tells me that death is also a celebration of a loved one reuniting with their Heavenly Father, to be loved, just as they were intended to be. This, of course, puts the burden back on us, as those left behind, to pour God's love into the lives of the children left behind, with not only our prayers, but with our presence.<br />
This world needs you. I'm talking to myself, too, ya'll. Lift up your eyes from your screens for a moment. This world may be going to Hell in a hand basket, or it could be saved by someone like you. You may have a significant purpose to bring this world healing, but you are too caught up in your old fears, your bad habits, your humdrum lives. Maybe you are loving life, houses and cars paid for, vacationing on islands whenever the mood strikes you, and that's wonderful if God has prospered you in this way. But He still needs you to care, to look outside of yourself and touch a life of someone who is hurting (and may I remind you to utilize the gifts you've been given.) Perhaps, through this, and through us, Christ will continue to conquer the grave.<br />
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"Then young women will dance and be glad, young men ans old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-60362101619683356722017-12-12T20:19:00.000-05:002017-12-12T20:19:02.676-05:00Refiner's Fire I hereby proclaim that I am ready to give birth to this book. Do you here that, he who shall not be named? I refuse to name him because he has no authority over my life. I have overworked this book for nine long years, while I have also processed debilitating trauma and have come out healed. This time, no one will stop me.<br />
I must say I have been having the time of my life in recent months. I am excelling at my job. I passed my certification exam to become a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. I have been diligently writing my book, spending time creating, painting, and wedding planning; I am in love, and I have two beautiful daughters. Have there been bumps in the road? Sho' nuff, But I am nothing, if not resilient. Resiliency is one of the good byproducts of Complex Trauma. When I stumble, I run to my Daddy. Even when the path has been smooth, He has been here beside me, above me, below me, within me. I am out of my Daddy Hole. It has been completely filled in with a Spiritual Father's love, and for the first time in my life, a love of self.<br />
If I am to believe that this recent "test" was placed before me by God, I could maybe rationalize that it was to make sure I was really up to the task. But I don't believe it was God. It hurt too much. I won't say He didn't use my pain as a refiner's fire to further ordain the writing of this book, but no, the enemy used feelings of fear, confusion, guilt, regret, and sadness to tear my beloved mother apart and cause her to question the writing of my book. I won't disclose all of the details; we have since made our peace. I will tell you that a few short sentences out of the mouth of my number one fan brought my world crashing down.<br />
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"I want to talk to you about your book. I really don't like the title. Chronic Trauma? Really, Danielle? Your life wasn't that bad.Your dad loved you. He didn't beat you."<br />
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Our brains do a lot to protect the psyche. We rationalize, justify, enable, and make excuses for those who have offended us. I tried to explain to my mother that Chronic Trauma does not mean that my life was a traumatic event every day of my life, but rather because there were multiple events throughout my life, my neurological wiring misfires in its attempt to interpret social cues. My hyper-vigilance makes me jump. When my daughter was 2 years old, she jumped up along side the recliner chair to give me a kiss, I almost punched her. I still have that reaction if anyone puts their face in my face unexpectedly.<br />
I think I nearly passed out as I listened to my mother's words. My mother, my hero, was invalidating my feelings and my memories. She defended my father and reminded me of all the times he showed up at concerts and games, When I said, "He never came to my games," she retorted, "Well maybe he was working." I was using my mantra at this moment, "Perception is reality. Perception is reality." Deep down in the pit of my soul, or maybe it was my stomach, I heard a voice say, "Oh my gosh, I'm just not going to write the book." Then I envisioned myself clicking "delete" on the file on my desktop. For a moment, I felt afraid. This is when I recognized that this was a spiritual battle.<br />
I am not going to lie and say I didn't cry for almost 12 hours in total, because I did. My mother called the next day and we talked. She apologized for invalidating my feelings. We're cool. She's the most amazing mom in the world. But now, you must know, that I am on fire. This book isn't about me, it's about you. It's about the mirroring of our stories. It's about the pain of our pasts and how to stop it from spilling onto future generations. It's about forgiveness, peace, and healing. It's about being filled with a True Father's love.<br />
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I have reached the top of Maslow's Hierarchy and I am giving back from the depth of my own self-actualization! I want to reach your friends and your families with a message of hope. I speak from a place of complete healing, where there is no more pain, shame, or guilt from the past. My Father has made a way where there was no way. My Father made sure that no weapon formed against me ever prospered. My Father has worked all things for the good in me, and He is worthy of all praise! It is all for His Glory!<br />
So, yeah, that hurt, but I'm still standing. I'm putting on my sweatbands and wristbands, and I'm getting ready to duke it out. I will fight until I finish! Hallelujah!Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-28943930693979869452015-12-06T13:01:00.000-05:002015-12-06T13:01:11.736-05:00So This is Christmas...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Sometimes in life, you learn lessons that stick with you forever. Sometimes, life events change you and your perspective and it may never be the same. As I unpacked 9 (9!) tubs of Christmas decorations and collectibles yesterday to dive into the Christmafication of our home, I came across these little treasures and felt the urging of the Spirit to share my story with you. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-bPpGAORr-2eiYHFl6L0bAFzmsNFME8yuE1DNge1SD_Wkx4qsjlZ-wTclifXTEuJj64tWbPx1pjEA0oFNkjbPoSU7BHXsaZk6j_2wgsWe1NF9TtjTGpQAHr9AUvB9Fbx1p49D4Q/s1600/12.6.2015+224.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-bPpGAORr-2eiYHFl6L0bAFzmsNFME8yuE1DNge1SD_Wkx4qsjlZ-wTclifXTEuJj64tWbPx1pjEA0oFNkjbPoSU7BHXsaZk6j_2wgsWe1NF9TtjTGpQAHr9AUvB9Fbx1p49D4Q/s200/12.6.2015+224.JPG" width="200" /></a>It was Christmas Eve, 1996. I had graduated from my undergraduate program at West Chester University just one year earlier, and moved back to central Pennsylvania to pursue my graduate education at Bloomsburg University. While taking classes, I decided to do 2 years of service with AmeriCorps - a domestic Peace Corps initiative which rewards its members with educational grants in exchange for working in the nonprofit sector. In addition to the educational grants, AmeriCorps members receive a "stipend" which averaged out to $4.67 an hour in 1996. I was young and naïve, but dedicated to service to others and to social justice. Certainly, this sacrifice would be worth something to others, as well as my own personal growth, if not monetarily.</div>
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Now I must tell you, I probably could have been a little more financially secure had I not fought for my own independence at this ripe old age of 21. But I was too hard-headed to remain in my parents' home during this time, so I struggled to make ends meet while also paying for rent, utilities, and other necessities on Market Street in Lewisburg.</div>
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Christmas was coming and as you might have guessed, money was tight. It's not like I had a lot of people to buy for - just my parents, my brother, my boyfriend, his mother; and I always enjoyed making something for my aunts and uncles. I knew I didn't need a lot of money, but there would be no way I would show up empty handed on Christmas, of all days. I strategically limited my spending in the last few weeks leading up to Christmas, sometimes eating eggs and toast for a week at a time to ensure I would have $100 in my account on Christmas Eve. Looking back, that $100 seemed like $1000 as I had somehow figured out what to get everyone on my list to provide a nice Christmas.</div>
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My employer let us out early since it was Christmas Eve, and I remember walking to the bank to withdraw my money. I remember feeling accomplished that I managed to save the $100. I remember the anticipation of shopping for my loved ones; the excitement of wrapping the presents and seeing the joy on their faces as they opened them. I had it all planned out. I remember how determined I was in my walk to that bank, as the list of what I needed to buy and where I needed to go to buy them circled in my brain.</div>
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I got to the bank, swiped my card, and entered my PIN. I typed in the numbers: 100.00. The message came up blazing across the monitor's screen: "You Have Insufficient Funds for this Transaction." In disbelief, I hurriedly checked my bank balance. "Your balance is $0.00." As the tears welled up, I printed a transaction statement which revealed the culprit - one of my credit card companies had helped themselves to a payment of $100 without my authorization. The bank was closed already since it was Christmas Eve, so there was no way to have them reverse the transaction. In that second, it was all gone - my money, my hopes, my dreams, my anticipation, my sense of accomplishment, and for a brief moment... my Christmas spirit.</div>
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I trudged home, back to my apartment, tears flowing uncontrollably. I called the credit card company and gave them a nice Christmas message. I called my mom... I guess just because I needed her in that moment. Then I sat, feeling incredibly alone, but somehow a stirring in my spirit wouldn't let go. </div>
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I pulled out my craft supplies and surveyed the inventory. There were Georgian pine cones, fabric, Sculpy, random gold string, felt, paint, WhiteOut, Sharpies, and some ribbon. There was an array of wooden beads and even a bag of white, fluffy stuffing. I reached into my pocket and I had $15 cash. I quickly walked down the street to Dollar General just to see if there were any other treasures that might fuel my inspiration. There I found little tiny trees! Certainly I could make something with little tiny trees! I bought enough for my parents, my future mother-in-law, and each of my aunts and uncles, and ran home to get to work.</div>
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The Spirit of Christmas was coming back to life in me. I molded the Sculpy into little faces and used the WhiteOut and blue and black Sharpies to make bright, sincere eyes. I used the fluffy stuffing to fashion a head of hair and beard. I sat the heads on top of the pine cones and draped them in green fabric (to which I had also affixed a white border) and tied them around the "waist" with the random gold string. Voila! Victorian Pine Cone Santas!</div>
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Then, to the trees, I took that crazy collection of wooden beads I had found, and put one bead on each branch. I made sure the top branch got a nice yellow or goldenrod bead to symbolize a star, and spiraled a piece of ribbon down through the branches as garland. Now my Santa(s) had Christmas trees, and my heart leapt (and wept) with joy as I surveyed each set, ready for wrapping and presenting to each family member.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5BFY-YPzaZ2CDAARTJqhVWhfytjvDOwkWmLwFGqX292WwaY72EPLBU7GMlR2SZze95DAkYCvoVrIClrBXeP0xPjjxsCzNBxSqdAuaGq2oL-beC3KF9wS7XnmBNkAQhfwvkRDHA/s1600/12.6.2015+215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5BFY-YPzaZ2CDAARTJqhVWhfytjvDOwkWmLwFGqX292WwaY72EPLBU7GMlR2SZze95DAkYCvoVrIClrBXeP0xPjjxsCzNBxSqdAuaGq2oL-beC3KF9wS7XnmBNkAQhfwvkRDHA/s320/12.6.2015+215.JPG" width="239" /></a>I will never forget the faces of love and endearment as my family members opened their Victorian Santa and Christmas tree that year. Of course, I shared my story with them, and they were even more touched. The Spirit of Christmas seemed to come alive even more and spread across each family member's heart. <br /><br />19 years have passed. I have been married twice, am raising 2 daughters, and also helped to raise 2 step-children. There have been years of abundance and there have been years that were not-so- abundant. And yes, I have told this story to all 4 of my children to remind them, as well. It is the same lesson that Cindy Lou Who has tried to teach us; perhaps the same lesson of Scrooge and Bob Cratchit, and maybe even George Bailey. Christmas is not found in the tinsel, and the wrapping paper, and the twinkling lights - although I'll admit, they do help to inspire us. But just as God humbled himself to come to this earth in the form of a little baby laying in a manger where the ass and the ox would feed, the Spirit of Christmas is born in the humility of the human heart.</div>
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May your hearts be humbled this Christmas, dear Friends, and grow in the Spirit of Christmas.</div>
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<br />Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-18167216047607279322012-12-02T23:06:00.000-05:002012-12-02T23:19:08.914-05:0011 days of taking care of me...It isn't often that we can truly take the time to take care of ourselves. I know that now, as a single parent, there are less moments of solitude, less time for exercise, and less nutritional value in whatever I'm throwing down my throat while I'm running from play practice to piano lessons. Add all of this to the fact that I work at a psychiatric facility and am somewhat of an empath, and you might imagine that my body and the energies therein can get pretty toxic. I tend to suck it up like a sponge and have to figure out where to put the "stuff" I absorb. I bought a big Native American basket that sits on my porch. My goal was to symbolically empty myself before I entered the door of my home each day. But most days, my hands are so full juggling keys, my purse, my cell phone and the kids' clutter, the basket just becomes a pretty fixture without much of a function. After working seven months straight without any real "down" time, I decided to take a week for myself and heal my soul.<br />
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Now you have to put this into perspective. I left Pennsylvania on November 25, 2011. I arrived in Florida on November 28. My birthday is November 30. Last year at this time, there was a lot of change and transition and excitement. Thank goodness I had a very special friend to help me process it one day at a time. But this year was the first anniversary and there was so much more emotion. Again, I found myself caught between feeling the thrill of success that I survived one year, and the reality and the sadness that I now had a year between me and what used to be my normal. I found myself wishing I could go back to the life I once lived and somehow make it all better, but knew deep down inside with great agony that it would never truly be the same. It was now I who had changed. And that message came: "You cannot move onto the next chapter if you're too busy re-reading the previous one." It was time to move forward, but in order to do so, I had to get healthy - <em>really healthy</em> again. For 11 straight days, I took care of me - for the first time in my life and I logged everything I did so that I had record of it. Now that I've begun such a good habit, I plan to continue, even after I head back to work tomorrow. <br />
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In 11 days I:<br />
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Enjoyed a non-traditional Thanksgiving with dear friends, painting irreverent Turkey Hand T-shirts, watching the Macy's Day Parade and the American Kennel Club Dog show; going to Golden Corral for Thanksgiving Dinner and checking out a movie - not too shabby for my first Thanksgiving away from "home". Reconnected with the Bestie. Had my life choices affirmed by a Georgia boy "redneck". Attended a drum circle. Exchanged Veggie Tales quotations with a coworker via text: Good Belly Laugh. Native American flute music and Dreamlite stars on the ceiling.<br />
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Worked against my spirit of fear and helped my daughter perform Youth Sunday. Performed a liturgical dance with my youngest. Acted as Cantor. Helped put up the church Christmas tree. Watched Ravens football at Beef O'Brady's with friends. Wrote my first blog in three years.<br />
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Slept in. Ate my favorite breakfast: salmon cream cheese on a bagel with Pumpkin Coffee from Dunkin Donuts - yummo! Went walking in my favorite park. Listened to Adele while I walked. Saw a bank full of turtles and Koi in the pond. Absorbed nature. Yoga and meditation. Made plans to help someone. Made plans to spend time with someone.<br />
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Pampered myself. Took a hot bath and relaxed. Pampered myself some more. Made tuna on toast. Music, cleaning, laundry = accomplishment. Hot tea. Swai fillets broiled with linguine parmesan.<br />
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Sat with an elderly gentleman - Bestie's dad. Listened to his stories. Tried to help him through his Dementia-related anxiety. Encouraged him to eat. He didn't fight. I joined him: Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup with an accidental overdose of After Death Hot Sauce. Cooled it down with sour cream - good stuff.<br />
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Restarted my favorite book and Spiritual/Metaphysical guide:Sacred Contracts by Carolyn Myss. Started a journal with it. Whoa the awakenings! Went walking with Zoe. Was invited to dinner: Spaghetti and Meatballs. (Notice how much I enjoy food?)<br />
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10 loads of laundry and cleaning. Re-organized closets. Donated three garbage bags of clothes to Good Will. Got a puppy. Had Oma's turkey chowder for lunch. Visited with the Bestie. Relished my daughters. Hugs and kisses before bedtime. Native American flute music and stars.<br />
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Bought new yarn. Started crocheting a blanket for the Bestie for Christmas. Took a long drive - mind wandering, wondering what is the next step and decided I don't need an answer right now. Cuddled with the puppy. Fell asleep. Received birthday present from my mom: new purse, Mary Kay cleansers, foot scrubs and lotions, lip glosses and new earrings. My mom is the best.<br />
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Had a spa day to try out my new stuff. Got all prettied up. Went to a Pottery Studio with the Bestie.<br />
Did some glazing on her pieces. Bestie treated me to Mexican for my Birthday. Listened to Ellen play guitar with her friends as an audience. Knitted a sweater for the puppy. Met the Bestie for a Birthday shot. Home to sleep: Native American flute music and stars.<br />
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Happy Birthday to me! Slept in. Mexican leftovers for lunch. Sang karaoke. Visited Native American store. Bought Medicine Wheel book and a Walnut turtle bookmark. Had a Mango Boba Tea. Subway - eat fresh. Bought yarn and dog treats. Worked on the Bestie's blanket. Showered with the products - I'm loving my new beauty regimen. Had a Karaoke Birthday party with my Bestie and crew. Rocked five songs. Received phenomenal presents: Turtle Diva T-shirt and perfume. Native American flute music and stars.<br />
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Woke up the next day - stiff as can be. Pinched something in my neck. Lay in bed with my favorite book and my crochet and figured out how to hold my arms up without pain. Popped some ibuprofen and a fluid pill and by nightime, I was back on my feet. Went shopping with the Bestie. Bought expensive shampoo and didn't regret it. Found a heartstone at House of Claddaugh. Was surprised with a Crab Fest at the Bestie's house - four dozen blue crabs to be exact. Returned back home to crochet and read. Native American flute music and stars.<br />
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Woke up to a big fresh pot of coffee and my book and my journal with a mission to finish. Performed a smudging ceremony to center myself. Accomplished my mission and finished the book - I had been promising myself to finish the book and its accompanying exercises for over 18 months now. Unraveled the mystery of who I am and how my purpose in life serves and will serve those who I meet along the way. Beautified myself one more time, feeling stronger and happier than ever. Went to the grocery store and was disrespected by the clerk. Instead of recoiling into my Victim role, I addressed her with confidence: huge victory over victimhood. Went to the Bestie's to watch the Ravens. Ate some leftover crabs. Had another victory against victimhood when I returned home. Processed it all and gave thanks for the opportunity to change my life in this way. Typed this blog to share it with you. Native American flute music and stars.<br />
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<br />Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-50153132700843509492012-11-25T23:12:00.004-05:002012-11-25T23:12:52.905-05:00A New JourneyI have not written an entry in three years and almost fourteen days. I don't even know where to begin, but begin, I must. Again God as shown me that He has given me gifts to use for His glory and I have accepted Satan's gag-order on my life for far too long.<br />
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I will begin with a praise report! In February of this year, I finished my MS in Mental Health Counseling I had been working on. What's more? It only took me three months to land a good job. Surely the Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.<br />
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But in other news, I lost my marriage, my home, my two step-children, and my extended family as I answered God's call to move 1100 miles away from the land of my ancestors and relocate to the Tampa Bay area of Florida. For some reason, God was pushing me, provoking me, and prodding me to look at the truth of my life and step out on faith. It was not easy, but I knew in my heart of hearts that I had to heed His call. All of the signs were there and pointing the way and what's worse, no one was stopping me. Everyone I consulted about leaving, including my mother, my father, and my husband said, "I think Florida will be good for you. You need to go." One year ago today, I packed up my 1999 Dodge Grand Caravan with only the things I loved the most - including my daughters - and started driving. The journey that has unfolded has been as equally painful as it has been enlightening. As the anniversary of my departure grew closer, I began to feel like "For such a bold move, I haven't accomplished much". But then, in true God form, an inspirational quotation crossed my path: "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one." Ouch. He is so right (all the time). So here I am, taking a new step of faith, hopefully bigger, bolder, and more trusting than ever before.<br />
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When I began this blog, I named it The Naked Turtle because I felt God was calling me to be transparent before others - to stick my neck out in faith - and maybe even pure and blameless in His sight. While I still feel the need to be bold - my understanding of a naked turtle was challenged recently. My new pastor actually loves to use puppetry as part of his ministry, and he has an amazing turtle puppet. His message to our Vacation Bible School kids this year was that a turtle's shell is kinda like God. The turtle can't go anywhere without his shell; we should not want to go anywhere without God. A turtle without a shell is a dead turtle as the shell holds its spine. We, as people, without God are a dead people. That's deep. Therefore, my being a naked turtle needs some rethinking, but you get the idea. I will report another praise: today my spirit of fear left me as I acted as the Cantor of the church and also performed a liturgical dance with my 8 year old, Zoe. THAT would have never happened a year ago.<br />
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Thus we grow, right? Each day, we take new steps of faith we didn't think possible. Each day, we grow in our interpretation of what God is calling us to do and who to be. It can be really scary. But He reminds us that we are never alone. He reminds us that His love goes before us to pave the way.<br />
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Welcome, Friend, to my new journey. I counted you faithful before and I will count you faithful again - especially in holding me accountable. My sole heart's desire is to glorify our Lord with my life - with my love for His people; the compassion with which He has burdened me; and to touch the lives of those who would never know to seek Him because they have been convinced by our society that God couldn't possibly love them.<br />
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I pray that I can continue to use the pains of my past to reach those who now stand where I once stood. I pray for eyes that can see and a heart that can hear the needs of the people who are seeking our Lord's face. Thank you, dear friends, for believing with me.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-88311574065551049052009-11-12T12:12:00.007-05:002009-11-16T23:08:20.428-05:00Can the Message Get Any Clearer?I woke up this morning with a message from God speaking clearly through my morning-foggy brain.<br /><br />"The more your carnal inner self kicks and screams, the more you should realize I am doing my greatest work."<br /><br />Wow.<br /><br />I just accepted a management position at McDonald's. Yes, I said McDonald's. As part of my Unemployment Insurance Compensation, I am required to prove that I have applied for at least two jobs per week. So, I applied at McDonald's. I mean, it wasn't like any of the other places I had applied were calling me for an interview. But, as much as I didn't really want this job, the owners called me, interviewed me, called me back to tell me what an amazing person they thought I was, and offered me the job. I accepted.<br /><br />I have a college education and nonprofit management development certification. I am a certified grant writing specialist. I am a current graduate student at Walden University in the Mental Health counseling program. I am the founder and director of a theatre company. I worked for years as a community planner with a beautiful salary, company car, and company phone. But now I am going to go work at McDonald's.<br /><br />God and I have a history of fighting over where I think I should be in life and where He wants me to be. Living back in Milton was not exactly my dream for myself as I pictured it as a child. In fact, I wanted to be as far away from here as I could possibly get. I was going to be a famous actress, or at least a well-paid professional. I was going to have a husband, children and lots of stuff. In my mind, that's the way it was going to be, and no one could tell me differently.<br /><br />But when I went to college outside of Philadelphia, I realized I could never live in the city. I like grass and rocks too much. While I was there, I realized the only relationships that really mattered to me were those of my parents and grandparents and I really wanted to be closer to them. I really wanted to raise my children so that "weekends at grandma's" were a real possibility - and not just for my benefit. I wanted my children to have the amazing connection with their grandparents that I had with mine. So, I moved closer to home - just one town over.<br /><br />Throughout the years, God has continued to poke me and prod me and pull me back into His purpose for my life. Over a year ago, in June of 2008 to be exact, I finally surrendered. He spoke to me quite plainly and said, "Be still and know that I am God." A peace washed over me like never before in my life. Through a wonderful mastering of life events, He brought me back to Milton to this beautiful home in which I now sit. I was still kicking and screaming internally, but I knew God was in control. He started making things happen for both the theatre company and the town of Milton. I could go on and on and on as to how the Lord has continued to bless me and provide for me since I've returned to this place I once despised. He even changed my heart and showed me how to love it.<br /><br />Although I've spent the past nearly eighteen months looking for a job in the counseling field, while I'm in grad school, I know I need something a little less mentally and spiritually draining. I'm not saying management of a fast-paced restaurant is brainless. I certainly know it's not. But I think I need a job that will get me out of the house and when I clock out, the work stays behind for the next shift to deal with. I'm certain God knew that too.<br /><br />My final destination as a manager will be at the Milton McDonald's. God really has a sense of humor, doesn't He? After accepting the position, the questioning set in. What if I have horrible shifts? What if I can't accommodate my kids' schedules because I'm working all the time? What if I hate it and I'm tired and I can no longer keep my house clean and the laundry done? What if, what if, what if?<br /><br />Then He woke me up this morning and reminded me, again, He's in control. The Milton McDonald's certainly is a mission field in and of itself. Perhaps, He needs me there. It is when I'm doing the most carnal kicking and screaming, that He is doing His greatest work.<br /><br />I then received this forwarded email that seemed to fall right into today's theme:<br /><br />Isn't It Strange?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games but they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in Church?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God to share it with others; but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say but we question the words in the Bible?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven but they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?<br /><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:12pt;color:black;" >Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away but when we are going to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?</span></span><br /><br />I'm learning that despite all of my hopes and dreams for what God is going to do with me in the future, I really need to start paying attention to how He's changing me in the present. I've prayed to Him numerous times, "Just use me Lord". I guess He wants to use me at McDonald's.<br /><br />Where does He want to use you? Do you think you're too good for certain situations, people, and positions? Do you think you know more about yourself than God does? I challenge you to consider how much your carnal self is fighting the work God is trying to do in your life.<br /><br />Another email that I also received this morning follows. This is what loving God and living life is truly all about. May the Peace of God be with you now and always. Remember who's in control.<br /><div> <div> <p class="ecxmsonormal"><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >A</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >lthough things are not perfect<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >B</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ecause of trial or pain<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >C</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ontinue in thanksgiving<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >D</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >o not begin to blame<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >E</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ven when the times are hard<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >F</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:18pt;color:black;" ><span style="font-size:78%;">i</span></span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >erce winds are bound to blow<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >G</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >OD is forever able<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >H</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >old on to what you know<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >I</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >magine life without His love<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >J</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >oy would cease to be<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >K</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >eep thanking Him for all the things<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >L</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ove imparts to thee<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >M</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ove out of " </span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >Camp</span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" > </span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >Complaining</span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" > "<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >N</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >o weapon that is known<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >O</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >n earth can yield the power<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >P</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >raise can do alone<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >Q</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >uit looking at the future<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >R</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >edeem the time at hand<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >S</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >tart every day with worship<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >T</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >o "thank" is a command<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >U</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:78%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:13.5pt;color:black;" ></span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ntil we see Him coming<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >V</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:130%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:13.5pt;color:black;" ><span style="font-size:85%;">i</span></span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ctorious in the sky<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >W</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >e'll run the race with gratitude<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >X</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >alting God most high<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:180%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:18pt;color:black;" >Y</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >es, there will be good times, and yes, some will be bad, but...<br /></span></span><strong><b><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:130%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-size:13.5pt;color:black;" >Z</span></span></b></strong><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" >ion</span></span><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;" ><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt;color:black;" > waits in glory...where none are ever sad!</span></span></p> </div> </div>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-29129070576928147592009-10-09T09:34:00.005-04:002009-10-09T11:33:00.001-04:00Doggy ObedienceI have a dog.<br /><br />I have always had dogs in my home, throughout my childhood and into my adulthood. I believe in giving a good home to at least one of the countless homeless animals in our country. I also believe having a dog somehow makes a home complete. Having a dog can teach children responsibility and the meaning of unconditional love. I know from experience not every dog is going to bring happiness to the household, but I also know that dogs will teach you much about yourself through your relationship with them. After the unfortunate passing of our last little four-footed monster, Shadow, I searched and searched through rescues, puppy mills, newspapers, and breeders for over two years. I finally found Bugsy Malone, our Shar-Pei/German Shepherd mix who is my newest "teacher."<br /><br />We got Bugsy in March when he was eight weeks old. His wrinkly Shar-Pei face made it impossible for a person to not fall in love with him. Within a week, he was spoiled rotten, begging to be held and sleeping curled up on my chest. Potty training was a breeze and so were basic commands like "Sit," "Lay down," "Roll over," and "Shake". He learned in two days that he must wait patiently in the middle of the room while I fill his food and water each morning until I give the command "Action" (we're theatre people, after all). He even learned to sit straight and balance treats on his nose until we give the command. When "Action" is spoken, he quickly flips his head and catches the bone in his mouth.<br /><br />Seven months later, and at 40 pounds, he is a big boy and can no longer curl up on my chest to sleep. If prenatal care in humans directly affects the health and mental development of a baby, well then, at least we have an excuse for Bugsy's lack of mental prowess. His mama was found as a stray, severely underweight, Heartworm positive, and with a cherry eye. The good people at PA Stray Save in Berwick helped nurse mama back to health after her eight puppies were born. Despite Bugsy's ability to learn commands, the rest of his behaviors are... well... rather dumb. But this, of course, is where all good lessons lie.<br /><br />Every day, I take Bugsy on a three-mile walk. We head down Front Street and cross the bridge over to the island between Milton and West Milton. We walk down the ramp to the island, go under the bridge and walk the South Trail all the way to the very tip of the island. I let Bugsy off his leash and allow him to take a drink from the river. When he's had his fill, which is, of course, determined by how hot it is on any given day, he returns to me so I can put him back on his leash and we return back the way we came.<br /><br />We have settled into a rhythm of sorts. With my headphones on and my MP3 player blasting Christian artists like Smokie Norful or the "I Can Only Imagine" compilation CD in my ears, I find my stride and sometimes sing out loud while walking. For me, the primary reason for my walk is to just find some time to spend with God. I listen intently to every word being sung in my ears. I sometimes hear a lyric which pierces my heart and brings me to tears. I find myself giving praise to God for every message He has put on these songwriters' hearts and walk on.<br /><br />But even though my mind is on God while I walk my dog, it is through this daily practice God has helped me to see a truth in the dog and man relationship which mirrors our relationship with Him.<br /><br />Bugsy has learned to respond to me, and I to him. We have gotten to the point in our relationship where his leash is like a steering wheel. I need only to nudge it one way or gently pull it the other to steer him in the right direction. He doesn't turn around and look at me for reassurance, he simply feels the tug on his neck and responds to where I'm leading him. In the distance, if I see a person or a car pulling out of an alley, I wind up his chain around my hand and pull him closer to protect him. He's still a puppy and wants to jump at everyone he meets, so I'm also protecting him from getting into trouble with people. When the danger is gone, I let out his leash and he continues on.<br /><br />Rarely does Bugsy lag behind, but occasionally, he will see a squirrel, or a leaf roll by and try to dart ahead. I give him a yank on his leash and pull him back into our stride. Most of the time, one yank will do it.<br /><br />Sometimes, the incline of the bridge is steep. It is here, going up hill, where I find Bugsy slowing down and losing steam so that he ends up walking right by my side.<br /><br />Once we are on the island, Bugsy gets playful. Maybe it's the wide open space, or the abundance of sticks, but over and over again he tries to snatch something off the ground and take it along on our journey. I usually ignore it and eventually he'll drop it until the next thing he sees. Then we get on the trail. The trail is a well marked path with lots of obstacles - hills, valleys, tree roots, rocks, fallen branches, and more. For ease of walking, it is very important to stay on the path.<br /><br />Bugsy varies from day to day on how well he can keep his sight on the path. Some days, it's as if he knows that at the tip of the island is the refreshing water to which I'm leading him. Other days, he darts and twists and yanks the whole way there with every stick, rock, or scent he finds. On days like these, his yanking and sudden jerking either completely trips me up or sends a shockwave of pain through my sciatic nerve. One day he actually jumped up and bit my butt for no apparent reason, just his need to be playful (German Shepherds use their mouths to play). I give him an, albeit, more forceful yank and try to get his attention back on the path.<br /><br />I've been collecting these "Dog + Human mirrors Human + God" messages for about two weeks now. But just when I thought I had a clear picture on what God was trying to reveal to me, Tuesday struck. Bugsy and I settled into our routine all the way to the island. He pooped a few more times than usual (more on that later) but other than that, it was like any walk. We got to the tip of the island, I let him off his leash, he took his drink. But when the time came for him to get back on his leash, he decided to play "keep away."<br /><br />Round and round he ran, darting yards ahead of me, then rushing back. Just when I thought he was coming to me so I could put his leash on him, he'd take off again. I thought to myself "I should give him credit since he is coming back to me and seems afraid to go too far without me," but because he was not following basic commands of "Cut" or "Sit," I found myself growing angry. I carry a rolled up newspaper to correct him when he has these moments of disobedience. He finally came close enough to me that I was able to tackle him to the ground, give him three swats wth the newspaper on his backside and put him back on his leash. I held his chin in my hand and said, "Don't you ever do that again.... Let's go!" I resumed walking, well, more like stomping in my fury and then the strangest thing happened.<br /><br />Suddenly, it was as if Bugsy feared me. He kept turning around and looking at me sheepishly, nearly cringing. If I gave his leash a little nudge, he winced. He didn't dare stop for any sticks or do his usual attempt to romp and play when we came out of the woods. It was almost as if he finally realized I meant business.<br /><br />In your Christian walk, I'm sure you feel the gentle pulling and nudging of God's "leash" on you. He's trying to keep you moving forward on the path; He's trying to lead you to refreshing water. Along the way, He pulls you in to protect you from harm, but He gives you free will and allows you to continue to walk ahead. When you're facing your mountains, He's there right beside you.<br /><br />But how many times in our Christian walk, do we try to dart off when something flutters by? How many times do we pick up a new habit (stick) and try to take it along on our journey? How many times do we get distracted, step off our path, yank and jerk until we bring pain to God, and even sometimes bite Him in the butt with our ways?<br /><br />Because of our routine, Bugsy poops in the same places on his walk always within a few feet of garbage cans. I, always armed with plastic bags, quickly scoop the poop up and place it in the trash receptacles. But on a day like Tuesday when Bugsy pooped a few more times, I ended up having to carry his poop for awhile until I could find a place to deposit it. I know it's gross, but there's a spiritual truth here, so I had to share this information.<br /><br />How quickly God gets rid of our own personal poop, but sometimes we put Him in a position where He has to carry it a bit longer. When we make mistakes which not only affect us but also the others around us, He's the one left with the cleanup. He's the one who has to mend the hearts and restore the souls left in our wake, not us. We already have our minds on the next stick.<br /><br />Finally, why does God have to tackle us to the ground and give us a couple of "Life's Swats" in order to gain our attention again. Sometimes we run around and around God - close enough so that we know He is still there, but still in our own place of play and disobedience. And suddenly, when He corrects us, we're surprised! We start looking behind us to see what other danger lurks because we know we're getting spiritually corrected. But if we had stayed on the path and did what we were told in the firstplace, we would have no reason to fear. We could be free to simply walk with God in His undeniable love for us!<br /><br />Sometimes we act like dumb dogs. God chose us and gave us a place in His home. He gives us food and water, protects us and cares for us. But sometimes, we want what we want, get too easily distracted or simply disobey our Master's call.<br /><br />When we got home from our walk, I was still fuming. Bugsy kind of collapsed on the floor and hung his head in shame while I detailed the events to Derek. Derek shook his head in disbelief and Bugsy continued to pout.<br /><br />But then comes the best part. After I had calmed down, Bugsy came to me and lay his head in my lap with his little pointed eyebrows and his pleading eyes. "You know I love you," I said. And with that he jumped up, putting his forelimbs across my lap and burying his head under my arm - the only cuddle position he fits in anymore. Then I added, "You better start listening."<br /><br />And with that, I was reminded again how our Master handles us. When we finally deal with our shame and come back to Him with a sorrowful heart, He welcomes us back into His arms and reminds us of His love for us.<br /><br />Okay Lord, I'm listening.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-45797700803345340952009-09-14T11:08:00.001-04:002009-09-14T11:09:52.208-04:00Successful SummerSometimes life seems like a blur. I don’t know if you experience the same thing, but because of my Event Planner brain, my life is a continuous stream of “Plan. Execute. Recover.” I then humorously like to add my favorite line off of every shampoo bottle, “Lather. Rinse. Repeat.”<br /><br />In my last post - yes, the one that was dated in June - I was in the planning stage. I stood at that very place where one often has to envision with great clarity what the next leg of the journey will look like. It seemed daunting and overwhelming, but then I realized God brought me here and He’s always with me. Who was I to fear?<br /><br />This summer consisted of:<br /><br />- Ten weeks of “Hamlet,” my theatre company’s tenth annual Shakespeare-in-thePark production.<br />- Twelve weeks of two very difficult courses towards my MS in Mental Health Counseling.<br />- Sending Zoe off to “Jump Start” to help her overcome her incredible shyness in preparation for Kindergarten.<br />- Preparing both girls for the annual Harvest Festival Mini Miss and Jr. Miss pageants.<br />- Keeping a flower garden alive and beautiful.<br />- Keeping vegetables growing in the zaniest weather patterns I’ve ever experienced.<br />- Spending every last moment I could find, swimming and playing with my children during what might possibly be my last summer of unemployment.<br /> - Keeping a house clean.<br /> - Keeping a husband happy.<br /><br />The list goes on, but these were indeed, the most important highlights.<br /><br />He leadeth me again. I rested in His hands. I gave it all to Him and He blessed my every step with His presence.<br /><br />“Hamlet” was Gaspipe Theatre Company’s greatest triumph, thus far.<br />I was able to maintain my 4.0 in my coursework.<br />Zoe did beautifully well in Jump Start and let’s just say it was Mommy who did the most crying the day the girls started school.<br />The pageants took place yesterday and both girls made me burst with pride.<br />The gardens are still alive; the vegetables are still coming.<br />I can truly say there is not one ounce of regret in me for time lost with the children this summer. We spent every moment we could as a family, creating memories which I hope will last their whole lives.<br />My house is still clean.<br />Yesterday, Derek and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. With God’s help, we continue to strengthen our marriage every day.<br /><br />There were bonuses, too. Because of my obedience in returning to Milton, despite my internal kicks and screams, God is bringing my greatest dream of creating a Center for the Arts to life. I will be working with the Milton Library to create a Center for the Arts in the new facility that the Library just purchased.<br /><br />And finally, as if I deserved one more blessing, at the end of my twelve weeks of school, when everything was finally settling down, by some miracle of miracles, God gave me two weeks off to write. These two weeks off from classes began the very day the girls went back to school. My agent had made contact with a couple of publishers who were interested in my book, I just couldn‘t find the time to clean it up and finish it out. But God gave me two glorious weeks of clarity and insight (and a quiet house) and last Tuesday, I gave birth to my new manuscript, “Climbing Out of the Daddy Hole.” Prayers for “Uncommon Favor” are greatly appreciated.<br /><br />I will admit, after the plan was laid out, each step of the way was a bit blurry. I had moments where I felt like I was standing outside of myself, watching myself in action. I mentally would stop myself and experience a “reality check”. “I’m doing it. I don’t know how, but I’m here and it’s happening.” The final performance of “Hamlet” came and went. Zoe got off the Jump Start bus one last time. The grades were posted. The pool closed. School started. I submitted my book and received my agent’s approval.<br /><br />The Recovery periods from each and every item on my list were glowing. There’s no better word to describe them. Every task, every paper, every show was a complete success.<br /><br />Now it’s all in the past and I sit here, planning out the next leg: two more classes, a residency in October, cheerleading practices, birthdays and Christmas. The list, again, goes on.<br /><br />But there’s something different this time. There is no dread, no feeling of being overwhelmed. I suddenly understand the very heart of Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”<br /><br />My God is in me, above me, beneath me, before me, behind me, on either side of me. He has my back in all times. He restores my energy, my strength, and gives me hope with every new morning. When the storms are raging, I‘ve learned to praise Him. He is my All in all.<br /><br />Is He yours? Have you yet learned how to go to Him as a child and let Him be your Daddy? Have you learned to trust? Have you learned to obey? Have you experienced the awesome magnitude of Him working through you and the blessings of dreams realized?<br /><br />Go to your Father and lean on Him. Then plan, execute, and recover. Psalms 23 should assure you that “His goodness and mercy will follow you” and “out of you.” John 7:38 reminds us, “shall flow rivers of living water.”<br /><br />It might possibly be that the blur you experience is when God completely takes over and works out the good for those who love Him. <br /><br />What an awesome, humbling, amazing place to be - caught in the blur of our Master’s work.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-58887262207424141272009-06-01T12:43:00.005-04:002009-06-01T13:31:17.003-04:00Just BreatheApparently, God must be thinking I haven't been busy enough. In actuality, maybe I haven't been that busy. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I've gone back to school on-line. I'm writing a book, managing a household, raising children and attending church which really equates with helping in the nursery. Oh, and yes I still have a theatre company but we haven't been that busy lately either. Most days in recent months, I spend my time working out, cleaning whatever I can and working on school and writing. It's been manageable.<br /><br />But now I'm feeling as if I'm standing on a precipice not knowing whether to jump or, just like in the Indiana Jones movie, take a step towards an invisible path which may or may not be under the foot of that first step. Suddenly, everything is changing and I'm filled with all of these emotions and physical flutterings in my chest which feel like anxiety, but yet I'm not willing to call them anxiety. I am done with feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed. I think.<br /><br />Today I start two courses: "Introduction to Mental Health Counseling" and "Professional Ethics and Identity in the Counseling Profession." I took the time to look at my expected coursework this week and immediately those pangs of fear started to creep over me. It's going to be a lot of work. It's going to be a long twelve weeks. This doesn't even scratch the surface of my upcoming responsibilities.<br /><br />The theatre company has decided to do Hamlet. I love Hamlet, however, it is the longest play Shakespeare ever wrote. I've already spent two full days editing it so that the audience's backsides don't go numb while the play is performed. It still needs help. Three nights a week will never be enough time to dedicate to this monstrosity.<br /><br />Ellen is done with school on Friday. Now, I've been looking forward to this day for some time. My dream for this summer was to spend as much time as possible with the girls as I possibly could. Zoe starts Kindergarten in August and this might possibly be my last summer that I'm not working. I plan to suck the marrow right out of it. The reality is, sometimes having two kids at home is more frustrating. I will have to be very careful about my approach so the schedule is followed and everyone is happy.<br /><br />Beyond all of this, it's summer. There are flowers and vegetables to try to keep alive, a yard to mow, vacations to plan. Can you see how my head might be spinning? Ellen's birthday is in July, I'm hoping to have a nice party this year. Oh! And both girls have just informed me they want to be in the Harvest Festival Pageant this year. So I'm now hunting for adorable dresses and dressy casual outfits for September. Did I ever tell you I hate to shop?<br /><br />Finally, I've just become involved with a community ministry called, "The Bridge." It was a vision God had given me and which I even wrote about in a fictional novel in October. Community Mennonite Fellowship and the Hand Up Foundation members were also given the same vision. On June 7th, the vision becomes action. We are taking Christ's Love to the streets - something I have been desiring to do for oh so long.<br /><br />It's going to be busy, even daunting at times to get through these twelve weeks. But then I take a breath and remember: He leadeth me, He leadeth me, by His own hand, He leadeth me. I remember what our Lord spoke to me when I was let go from the Pregnancy Care Center. He said so simply and so beautifully, "Be still and know that I am God." I remember the spiritual pregnancy that I have experienced, the birth of my new self, the intricate ways in which God has gotten me from what I consider to be "Unsteady Faith" to "Unshakeable Faith," and I again hear His voice saying, "Do not fear for I am with you." God is with me. He is always with me, helping to bear the yoke, helping to lighten the burden. I am so absolutely humbled that a God like Him chose to have a relationship with a wretch like me.<br /><br />So I stand on this precipice with no, not anxiety, but hopeful anticipation. I can't wait to see what God will do these next twelve weeks. I'm ready to take the next step.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-60331716892295520242009-04-21T17:23:00.004-04:002009-04-21T18:43:46.802-04:00I need to writeI need to write.<br /><br />I need to write and I need to stop worrying about what the reader will think. I just need to write.<br /><br />Winter funk stopped me from writing. See? I haven't posted anything since January 29th. It is now April 21st. What happened? I'll tell you what happened. The agent came back to me after having the manuscript for three months and told me I need to try again. She said, "Don't re-write, re-phrase." It was like a ginormous horse-kick to my stomach.<br /><br />I tried, believe me, I tried. I wrote myself in circles and ended up deleting every word out of sheer disgust. I sent the manuscript to a writer's service for their feedback. More criticism and more discouragement followed. Less writing followed again.<br /><br />I enrolled in my master's degree program at Walden University to get my MS in Mental Health Counseling. Because it is an online school, nearly all of the homework applications are writing assignments. For five weeks, I had a 100% in the class. Then suddenly, the prof started getting tougher, deducting a tenth of a point here and there. My assignments, which were once something I looked forward to, are now turning into something I'm dreading.<br /><br />Do you see the pattern? I receive criticism, whether constructive or not, and I find myself completely unable to move forward. I don't know where it began, but I do remember years ago in junior high and high school, being praised for my writing ability by countless teachers. But when I got to college, during my very first semester I had a professor who hated everything I wrote. That was 1992. It took me until 2006 to dare to write again.<br /><br />I received this email devotional yesterday.<br /><br />CAN A SAINT SLANDER GOD?<br /><br />For all the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen. 2 Corinthians 1:20<br /><br /><blockquote></blockquote>Jesus told the parable of the talents recorded in Matthew 25 as a warning that it is possible for us to misjudge our capacity. This parable has not to do with natural gifts, but with the Pentecostal gift of the Holy Ghost. We must not measure our spiritual capacity by education or by intellect; our capacity in spiritual things is measured by the promises of God. If we get less than God wants us to have, before long we will slander Him as the servant slandered his master: "You expect more than You give me power to do; You demand too much of me, I cannot stand true to You where I am placed." When it is a question of God's Almighty Spirit, never say "I can't." Never let the limitation of natural ability come in. If we have received the Holy Spirit, God expects the work of the Holy Spirit to be manifested in us. The servant justified himself in everything he did and condemned his lord on every point - "Your demand is out of all proportion to what you give." Have we been slandering God by daring to worry when He has said: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"? Worrying means exactly what this servant implied - "I know You mean to leave me in the lurch." The person who is lazy naturally is always captious - "I haven't had a decent chance," and the one who is lazy spiritually is captious with God. Lazy people always strike out on an independent line. Never forget that our capacity in spiritual matters is measured by the promises of God. Is God able to fulfil His promises? Our answer depends on whether we have received the Holy Spirit. <blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote>I'm not placing blame on God. I really don't know where this ailment comes from. I really don't want to give the Enemy credit, but I do have to believe when a talent is God-given and meant to be used to advance the Kingdom, someone or something might want to stop that talent from coming forth. I see it every time our church tries to put on a play.<br /><br />Go on devil! Bark up someone else's tree. I don't have time for you!<br /><br />I refuse to slander God through my inability to put His talents to use. I will not let the battle be lost -the souls be lost - to procrastination and discouragement. I will continue to praise the Lord for His gift of the Holy Spirit who has brought me to such a time and place as this to reach the world with the story He walked with me.<br /><br />Every day, I make the dreaded journey to the elliptical machine in the dining room to do my daily workout. I start with yoga, move on to do exercises with a stability ball. Sometimes, I even do the AbRocket - anything to procrastinate doing the 30 minutes on that machine. But as my obese frame finally gets into the rhythm of the music pouring from my headphones, I find my stride and begin to sing my favorite Smokie Norful song outloud and breathless, as the tears stream down my face.<br /><br />I have decided,<br />determined... i'm committed<br />That i'll run no matter the cost<br />And I have decided,<br />determined... i'm committed<br />That i'll run<br />Even though at times I may get lost<br /><br />I'm going to finish my race<br />I'm going to take my proper place<br />In the winning circle<br />I'm going to run anyway<br />I dont know where or when or how<br />But I know that i'm going to make it<br />Oh i'll run this race<br />Nestled safetly in amazing grace<br />I've made up my mind<br />And I dont have much time<br />But i'll run, Til I FinishNaked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-56081732604168372952009-01-29T13:06:00.010-05:002009-01-29T14:35:57.043-05:00Overdue and Underdone<span style="font-size:100%;">I forgot to post my Praise Report. I neglected to invite you to my Hallelujah Dance. In my previous post, my faith held on to a wing and a prayer that my God would prove Himself to be the Great Provider that I know Him to be. Of course He did.<br /><br />I was staring down the calendar, knowing my applications had been sent out, my interviews had been completed, but the last Unemployment payment was coming on Wednesday. I knew all week - I </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >knew</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> God would come through, some way, some how. I expected the phone to ring, the letter to come, the email to post. I rested on His promise to me that He's never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed go begging for bread. I told you before, He always comes through.<br /><br />Every day that week, I woke up and waited in expectation. 'How was He going to do it this time,' I wondered. Monday rolled by, then Tuesday. Wednesday came, the remaining balance of my unemployment claim posted to my account and I spent the rest of the day writing. I wasn't fretting over how we were going to survive during the coming months. I spent a peaceful day with my husband just writing - continuing to do the work God has given me to do.<br /><br />Then, Thursday morning arrived. For some reason, Derek decided to stay home that day. I love when Derek decides to stay home. After nearly eighteen years serving in the Big House, he needs an extra day here and there to keep his mind and soul in a good place. We were spending the morning cooking up breakfast fit for a king when I wandered to the mailbox.<br /><br />A letter from the Department of Labor and Industry awaited me. I expected it to say something like, "Your UC benefits are now exhausted. Thanks for playing, now get a job." I almost didn't open it in my assumed knowledge of what it was. Curiosity got the best of me and I opened it up. "Congratulations," it read, "You are financially eligible for an extension on your UC claim for an additional 20 weeks."<br /><br />I immediately called up L&I to make sure this wasn't a mistake. The woman on the phone, said, "Yes, your claim begins immediately, you can file this Sunday." I heard the joy in her voice arise as she heard the joy in mine.<br /><br />I did a Hallelujah Dance. Derek came around the corner, wondering what was going on. "He came through, Derek. He always comes through." We both continued to praise God for His provision. I made sure my Facebook friends got a status update. I emailed my personal Prayer Warriors. I called my Mom. The subsequent weeks have held continuous praise. But then I remembered, I forgot to update you.<br /><br />This is what brings me to why I have entitled this posting "Overdue and Underdone."<br /><br />First, I left you hanging after my last post. This Praise Report was indeed, overdue. Maybe some of you out there needed the encouragement and the gentle reminder that God is Jehovah Jireh, Lord Provider. Maybe some of you needed to rejoice with me for a moment just so you could see His light in your darkness. Maybe.<br /><br />But secondly, I'm going to get real personal with you right now. I am constantly being reminded of how much my praise is underdone. It's a little rare - in both meanings of the word. It doesn't reach its completion. I'm a little short on the follow-through. Maybe a lot of us have this same issue, or maybe it's just me. But not only did I fail to use this blog to give God praise, but I have gotten sucked into the lie of loneliness - again. I'm so tired of this trap, I'm ashamed to write this. But here I am, hoping that somehow my struggle will shine some light on your struggle and together, and with God's help, we will both be better for it in the end.<br /><br />I believe I have intimated to you before how I've never made friends easily. My lifelong friends are strewn across the United States, but not here. This is why I love Facebook. I can keep in touch with all of my friends through my computer and it brings me great joy to be able to make someone smile across the miles.<br /><br />Lately, my friends have been kind of quiet. My email inbox hasn't exactly been "dinging" too much. My husband and I are in a different place in our marriage at the moment. My one girlfriend who is here seems caught up in her own life. Nine times out of ten, if we make a date to do something together, she calls to cancel. Except for my neighbor who </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:100%;" >always </span><span style="font-size:100%;">needs something from me, and of course my children who always keep me hopping, I don't get too much social interaction - not for the sake of "togetherness," anyway.<br /><br />It can be a lonely place to feel like you are not important to anyone unless they need something. I have spent entire days wallowing and crying in my loneliness. Monday was the last lonely day I experienced. When I was finally tired of my own pity party and decided to cry out to God, He simply responded, "Now you know how I feel." Ouch.<br /><br />Of course the next morning's email devotion fell right in line.<br /><br />From "My Utmost For His Highest":<br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><pre style="font-size:9pt;"><span style=";font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Take no thought for your life. Matthew 6:25<br /><br />"A warning which needs to be reiterated is that the cares of this world,<br />the deceitfulness of riches, and the lust of other things entering in, will<br />choke all that God puts in. We are never free from the recurring tides<br />of this encroachment. If it does not come on the line of clothes and food,<br />it will come on the line of money or lack of money; of friends or lack of<br />friends; or on the line of difficult circumstances. It is one steady<br />encroachment all the time, and unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise<br />up the standard against it, these things will come in like a flood.<br /><br />"Take no thought for your life." "Be careful about one thing only," says<br />our Lord - "your relationship to Me."<br /><br />Common sense shouts loud and says - "That is absurd, I must consider<br />how I am going to live, I must consider what I am going to eat and drink."<br />Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing the thought that this statement<br />is made by One Who does not understand our particular circumstances. Jesus<br />Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not<br />think about these things so as to make them the one concern of our life.<br />Whenever there is competition, be sure that you put your relationship to God first.<br /><br />"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." How much evil has begun to threaten<br />you to-day? What kind of mean little imps have been looking in and saying - Now<br />what are you going to do next month - this summer? "Be anxious for nothing,"<br />Jesus says. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your<br />heavenly Father."<br /><br />What an awesome reminder was that. If I'm feeling lonely, I need only to turn to<br />the one who loves me most. My husband can't even love me as much as God loves me.<br />My parents can't love me as much as I God loves me. When loneliness enters in, how<br />dare I refuse to throw my arms around my heavenly Father and wallow in self pity?<br />God, I have learned, needs our love and devotion, too.<br /><br />Yes, my praise has been overdue and underdone. But thank God for His faithfulness to me.<br />Surely, I may not be the greatest friend and my friends may not be able to fit me into their days.<br />But God - He is the greatest friend, Father, and Love there ever was and ever will be.<br /><br />Let's continue to make our praise timely, continuous and complete.</span><br /></span></pre></div>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-22175206505445674812009-01-02T11:25:00.009-05:002009-01-02T13:15:29.545-05:00Just what I neededToday, I saw a sparrow. <br /><br />It was quietly hopping up the trunk of the tree behind my house, foraging for food in the cracks of the tree's bark. From what I could see, it was finding plenty to eat as it made its journey up and up, like a chicken pecking at seed.<br /><br />I didn't know sparrows stuck around during winter months. I wouldn't know where they might go, but just as the Great Blue Herons which majestically soared up and down the river corridor have disappeared for this season, I figured sparrows might have to go elsewhere for their own survival as well. I guess I was wrong.<br /><br />You might not know the significance seeing this little bird held for me this morning. Each morning, when I wake up, even in freezing temperatures, I make my way to my back deck and stare at the river. I take a moment to give God praise, which is easy to do when I see the wonder of His creation. Directly across the river from my house is Davis Island. I've spent countless hours watching the wildlife on the island and in the river - deer, wild turkey, muskrats, Canadian geese, herons of all kinds, ducks, and even the squirrels which scamper up and down my trees. I've watched a female Cardinal struggle for days to get the attention of a male, and occasionally a great big groundhog finds his way out from under the neighbors porch and makes his way down to the river. On a clear day, I can even see countless trout, bass and muskies swimming beneath the river's surface.<br /><br />But today, there was no other wildlife to be seen. Today, I saw a sparrow. <br /><br />It was this little bird feasting on everything it could find which spoke directly to my soul. Indeed, His eye is on the sparrow. "Thank you Jesus, for this reminder," my soul cried out. This is just what I needed.<br /><br />God has been in the business of reorganizing my life for some time now. I will admit it, it has been very painful. For an overachiever like me, the pain of finding a job, working there for ten months and being "let go" over and over again has been one of the most crushing series of events of my life. Nothing else has hurt quite so much as knowing I consider myself a "career woman," but facing the rejection of job after job. This has warped the perspective in which I see myself, which has the tendency to bring me through dark periods of depression and a lack of self-worth.<br /><br />On the brighter side, because hindsight is 20/20, I have seen His hand every step of the way. God has continually guided me to places, taught me lessons and revealed His truth, while maybe not-so-gently showing me there is a certain something He wants from me, or of me, and none of these jobs were "it."<br /><br />I lost my last job in June. At this last place of employment, God did some amazing things to set me on my path. He aggressively dealt with the sins and pains of my past, healed me of those memories and even birthed a book in me whereby I may be able to bring healing to others. Deep stuff. And then, like the gentleman He is, He released me. He clearly spoke to me and told me, "Be still and know that I am God." Let's just say, I've been trying really hard to do what He said.<br /><br />Then, He brought me back to Milton. This town had been filled with painful memories and places of judgment from my adolescence. But through the work He did on me at my last job, I was able to no longer wince when I thought of this community where I grew up. He ordained circumstances which allowed me to move here, to be blessed with a beautiful home. I still have no idea why He brought me here, but I know His hand is in it.<br /><br />My Unemployment checks run out this coming week. Although I have applications and interviews under my belt, I have still heard nothing regarding these opportunities. With winter, the utility bills mount. So do things like tension and fear and seasonal depression.<br /><br />But today, I saw a sparrow.<br /><br />Afer praising God for His beautiful reminder, I turned to my email for my morning Devotion. Of course, again, He spoke.<br /><br />From "My Utmost for His Highest":<br /><br />WILL YOU GO OUT WITHOUT KNOWING? <br />He went out, not knowing whither he went. Hebrews 11:8 <br /><br />"Have you been "out" in this way? If so, there is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question - "What do you expect to do?" You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder - you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a "going out," building in confidence on God. "Take no thought for your life,...nor yet for your body" - take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you "went out." <br /><br />Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in surrender to Him until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does? <br /><br />Suppose God is the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him- what an impertinence worry is! Let the attitude of the life be a continual "going out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have an ineffable charm about it which is a satisfaction to Jesus. You have to learn to go out of convictions, out of creeds, out of experiences, until so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God."<br /><br />I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing, where the next paycheck will come from, but God does. I have to learn to rest in that. I have continually spoken over myself, "Be still and know that He is God," "God is in control" and "I've never seen the righteous forsaken or His seed begging for bread" when the anxiety was rearing its ugly head. Faith. It's what we need more than anything else - Faith.<br /><br />Do you have Faith? Do you know He has your back at all times? Do you know He is the greatest Father, Protector, Provider, Healer, Strong Deliverer, Peacemaker, Banner, Shepherd, Righteousness and Presence which ever was, is or is to come? Do you KNOW this? Can you search the depths of your heart and soul and erase all doubt that He always comes through? He ALWAYS comes through. I challenge you to name one time when the Lord didn't come through for you. He may not have come through in the way you wanted, but I bet He made it better in the way He wanted.<br /><br />Today, I saw a sparrow. As much as I've leaned on the Lord for the past six months, this past month had me leaning on my own understanding again. Well, you know what the Bible says about that. It says "Lean NOT on your understanding." It also says, "Let not your heart be troubled, there is no reason to fear." It says a whole bunch of stuff that feels good when you read it or hear it preached, but is sometimes really hard to live out.<br /><br />But today - with a little bird climbing up a tree and pecking at what I'm certain were probably bugs, the Lord spoke volumes into my life and clearly told me to share this message with you.<br /><br />His eye is on the sparrow. Say it again. His eye is on the sparrow. One more time. His EYE is on the SPARROW. And so what? And so I know He watches over me (and You.)Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-57775094759043922162008-12-23T09:09:00.005-05:002008-12-23T10:24:47.368-05:00ShineZoe turned five on Friday. Although it hasn't been the easiest five years - she still refuses to sleep in her own bed all night, (can you say "exhaustion"?) - I'm relishing this final year of having the last of my children at home. She is extremely creative, highly inquisitive and the hours I spend with her, no matter how quickly fleeting, are always filled with her new observations and analyses.<br /><br />Her latest "game" of sorts is kind of like "I Spy." Wherever we go, driving in the car, her little mouth never ceases. "Did you see that bird, Mommy?" "Oh look, they have a flag with butterflies on it." "Look, look, an icycle!" I try very hard to "see" what her eyes have found, while also keeping my car on the road.<br /><br />Last week, my Ellen missed the bus - again. It had been a horrendous morning. I took Derek to work with kids in tow. I thought it would be nice to grab the girls some breakfast at the golden arches so we wouldn't be rushed to eat cereal when we got home. I had also realized I ran out of coffee at home and convinced myself if I just bought one cup from Mickey D's, I'd be good to go for the rest of the day. <br /><br />I handed Ellen the keys and my coffee while I carried Zoe (wrapped in a blanket) to the door of our home. I still don't know how it happened, but as Ellen fumbled with the keys in the lock, my single cup of coffee crashed to the porch floor and exploded. I've never been one to scold children for spilled drinks because, hey, gravity happens. But, nonetheless, Ellen burst into tears. So by the time we got the tears dried and soul mended, her teeth brushed and her hair patted down (don't ask,) the big yellow school bus with the obnoxious flashing light on top went zooming past our house. Ugh. Back out into the cold we go!<br /><br />On our way home from dropping Ellen off at school, Zoe started her game again. It's especially exciting for her right now with all of the Christmas decorations.<br /><br />"Oh, Mommy, did you see that? They have a Santa Claus on their roof!"<br />"Mommy, Mommy, did you see Frosty the snowman?"<br />And then the one that struck me funny, "Uh-oh, Mommy, those two houses still have their lights on. That's a waste of e-lec-tricity. They should turn their lights off, huh, Mommy?"<br /><br />I found myself explaining to this little mind how some people forget to turn off their lights, but then found myself preaching to myself as the words flowed out of my mouth. "Zoe, some people don't worry about what electricity costs. They are just happy to continue to let their lights shine. They know it brings happiness to others."<br /><br />Ouch. Conviction. When I am convicted, my heart physically feels like it's being squeezed, perhaps by the hand of God. It's almost as if my heart stops beating for a moment with one last thump in my chest and my soul speaks to my head, "Did you hear what you just said?"<br /><br />Yeah, I heard it.<br /><br />For many of us, this season hasn't been too merry so far. I know there has never been a time in my life when I know so many around me are experiencing such drastic loss. For many, there will be no presents under a tree. For many, there will be no tree. For many, there will be no home in which to put a tree, much less presents. <br /><br />But there is still Light.<br /><br />I found out in recent months, having always know that Ellen's name means "light," that Ellen's name truly means "God's light" or "God's radiance." The word "El" means God. I also knew when I named Zoe, that her name means "life." But in recent years have discovered the great mystery of what "zoe life" - life immersed in God - truly means. I also think it particularly funny how my favorite song when I was three was "You Light Up My Life." Coincidence? I think not.<br /><br />We have light and life to offer others. We have been graced with the presence (presents?) of God in our hearts, His wisdom in our minds, His spirit in our souls. But how often do we find ourselves completely bogged down by the physical reality of this world right now and before sharing our light and life to others stop and think, "How much is this going to cost me?"<br /><br />I have always considered myself a giver - a generous spirit who will give you the shirt off my back if you need one. You need me to clean your house? What time should I be there? You need to stay in my home because you have no heat? Come on in. You need me to drive you forty-five minutes away because you don't have a car, and oh by the way, you can't help me out with gas money either? Get in, buckle your seatbelt. But lately, folks, it's been a different story.<br /><br />Oh, I still give, <em>and give, and give. </em>But I've been guilty in a different way. After spending the day cleaning someone else's home, the little "self elf" says, "Well, there's a day wasted you could have been cleaning your OWN house." After sharing my washer and dryer with a neighbor who doesn't have one, the "self elf" speaks again, "Water bill, electric bill, oh yeah, and think of YOUR family's laundry you could have gotten done today."<br /><br />Guilty. Convicted. Sitting here rebuking myself for how much I preach to those around me to take care of "the least of these" when my own heart has't been in it much either.<br /><br />But again, there's Light.<br /><br />Through a simple observation of a child, God's light shone on my heart and reminded me of the one Truth. God never stopped to ask Himself, "How much will this cost ME," when He gave us His Son. Jesus never stopped to ask Himself, "How much will this cost ME," when He gave us His Life.<br /><br />It's more than the "Reason for the Season," friends. The message is meant for us to wrap our lives around it, internalize it, live it. Simply put, we need to SHINE.<br /><br />We need to shine harder and shine longer, maybe more than we ever have before. We need to dig deep into our souls and find His love which will serve as our Energizer batteries to keep us going selflessly, because guess what? Someone else's life might depend on your light today.<br /><br />I hope someone calls who needs help today. Maybe God will put someone on my heart. He's really Good at that.<br /><br />It's only 10 in the morning, but I think I'm going to go turn my lights on. PP&L has nothing on me.<br /><br />Oh, and by the way, "Merry Christmas."Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-83480205721896282722008-12-04T12:26:00.014-05:002008-12-04T16:26:14.625-05:00Identity CrisisDon't be alarmed. I'm not having the Identity Crisis. I got over that years ago. After five years of trying to fit in with a certain group of people, marrying one of them and having a child with him, the reality of no longer knowing who I was and furthermore realizing I certainly wasn't being who God called me to be, slapped me in the face with a sting as painful as that of a jellyfish. It hurt me to the very core of my soul. Finding myself again was the hardest mountain I've ever climbed, especially with another soul (my daughter's) along for the journey. I still have a few more outcroppings to scale before I am where I truly want to be. The difference now is God is "on belay."<br /><br /><br />The Identity Crisis I'm speaking of is scattered throughout the body of Christ. For every four people you hug in church, at least one of them still doesn't know where they belong. They still haven't accepted the fullness of God's love. They still haven't grasped their purpose or the significance thereof, and what's worse, some of us other "body parts" have made them feel like they <em>don't </em>belong. Some of them - some of us - are still wounded, still hurting, or maybe simply still searching for where we belong in the Body of Christ.<br /><br /><br />If you need a reminder:<br />1 Corinthians 12:12-26 proclaims:<br /><br />12 For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.<br /><br /><br />14 For the body is not one member, but many. 15 If the foot says, "Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body," it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, "Because I am not an eye, I am not a part of the body," it is not for this reason any the less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired. 19 If they were all one member, where would the body be? 20 But now there are many members, but one body. 21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; or again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22 On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 23 and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, 24 whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, 25 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.<br /><br /><br />Now I must ask, who are you in the body of Christ? Do you know? Are you the head? Do you contribute to the workings of the body? Are you the face - always smiling, always entertaining to make people feel welcome? Are you the mouth - singing in the choir, proclaiming and exhorting? Are you the hands - the doers, the people with the "helps?" There are many parts in the Body of Christ - the legs, the feet, the backbone, the eyes, the ears, maybe even the heart. What body part are you right now?<br /><br />It's interesting to consider this question. I find myself being different parts at different times. I still believe my biggest role in my church is to be an encourager or cheerleader - that can be many different body parts, if you think about it. But I also have a role in the world, and that's interesting to contemplate as well.<br /><br />You may be thinking, "Where are you going with this, Danielle?" Where <em>am</em> I going with this? Lately God has really been impressing this idea upon me. If we don't know who we are in the Body of Christ, then how can we ever take root and grow?<br /><br />Furthermore, how can we grow others? When the scripture says, "22 On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; 23 and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, 24 whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, 25 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another." I have to assert that most members of the Body of Christ have it completely backwards. We honor our leaders, bestowing all kinds of praise and graciousnesson them, and yet we forget to care for "the little guys," or the "least of these." I know way too many people who have left the church because they said to themselves, "Because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body." Just as my hands must take care of my feet because they can't really rub lotion on themselves, the church must do a better job at taking care of all body parts.<br /><br />As I said before, there are those of us who are still wounded, there are those of us who are still hurting and still searching. We need to know who we are. We need to know our purpose. We need to heal the wounds of our past to step into this purpose - to help root and ground those who are still searching.<br /><br />I am reminded of the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13. Jesus spoke:<br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">3 "Behold, the sower went out to sow; 4 and as he sowed, some seeds fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate them up. 5 Others fell on the rocky places, where they did not have much soil; and immediately they sprang up, because they had no depth of soil. 6 But when the sun had risen, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. 7 Others fell among the thorns, and the thorns came up and choked them out. 8 And others fell on the good soil and yielded a crop, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty. 9 He who has ears, let him hear."</span><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;">When a person knows not who they are, where they belong, what their purpose is and what they should do, they tend to be a seed or a spore that floats on the breeze and never takes root. This seed can be eaten by birds, scorched by the sun and overcome by thorns. I know, because I am one whose life story can attest to all three. But I can also give Glory to God for allowing me to finally find good soil and begin to yield a crop.</span><br /><br />Who are you in the Body of Christ? If you don't know, truly give it some thought. Are you the arms always ready to hug? Are you the smile which always brightens someone's day? Are you a foot which serves as a foundation for others? What has God brought you through? How does this reveal your life's purpose?<br /><br />Perhaps you can see those around you who are floundering to take root. Perhaps you are the mouth which has a word for them which will help them to finally stand in one place. Perhaps you are the hands to help secure them in the earth, the heart of love which can nurture them, or again, the eyes who can see, and help them to see who they are in the Body of Christ.<br /><br />We must know who we are. We must know our purpose. We must know our strengths and be able to at least acknowledge our weaknesses if we are ever to truly advance the Kingdom of God. We must relinquish the fear which keeps us from facing our pasts and healing them. We must shrug off whatever it is which keeps us from carrying out our purpose.<br /><br />God has been waiting for you.<br />I guarantee, someone else is waiting for you, too.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-24150996112429118582008-10-27T13:36:00.016-04:002008-10-28T01:25:31.503-04:00Poured OutI'm being poured out and it isn't exactly comfortable, I must admit. As much as I want to be identified with my Savior in all aspects of His life, death and resurrection, sometimes I really wish we could skip this part.<br /><br />It is a season of Servanthood, except this time I'm not frying donuts or stocking shelves or getting paid, for that matter. Everyone around me - my closest circle of family and friends - is in need. I am their only common denominator, the one who is being called to help over and over again. I hate to admit it, I'm tired. But I know through my selfless works, they may see Christ, so I continue on. You and I both know they <em>need </em>to see Christ.<br /><br />I wonder how Christ did it. He walked from town to town, constantly followed by 12 men, who for the most part, didn't always "get it." In every town, more people flocked to Him, most of them needing something, some of them sitting back in judgment of Him. He had to feel drained. He had to want to disappear, didn't He?<br /><br />My husband and I packed up five years of our life beginning in July to move to a new home. That was five years multiplied by four children's Christmas, birthday and Easter presents and all the junk in between. It was five years of "our" stuff. It was five years of Theatre Company costumes, sets, props, makeup and more. We sifted through it, packing up what we needed and dispersing what we didn't, and we did it all by ourselves. We had no one to help us. Through it all, we learned an important lesson - we're not as young and energetic as we used to be.<br /><br />When we finally were "under one roof," we had to make a bedroom out of an unfinished attic space. What a creative adventure lay before us, but in the meantime, we had beds in the living room, boxes in the dining room and it seemed like it would be forever until we could get our house settled.<br /><br />Then, on September 4th, tragedy struck. My grandparents' home of 30 years, including where my mother had lived for the past two years, burned to the ground. Of course we praised the Lord for the lives He spared because of a miracle of a matter of minutes. It was also a miracle my daughter Zoe was not there and I know angels were all around us that day. But my mother and grandparents lost everything. Four days later my grandmother found out she has degenerative disk disease. She now uses a lift chair and walks with a walker. Last week it was confirmed my grandfather who has Alzheimer's has an aorta which is almost completely blocked. A massive heart attack is imminent, but the doctors say it could be two months or two years, they don't know. As we sift through the ashes, literally and figuratively, more jobs are added to my plate. My first job is to go through 33+ pages of household contents for the insurance adjuster and place a value on each item or look it up. Can you say, "Ugh"? As my mother and grandparents struggle with the decision of where to live next - to rebuild or not to rebuild, I know in my heart I am already called to be one of their caretakers in the coming weeks and months ahead.<br /><br /><p>Ever since I moved in, my neighbor next door has been in need. She is an adult victim of child-abuse, and now a victim of domestic abuse. Her three children are wards of the court. Every day I either get a knock on my door or a ring on my phone. Every day, she needs <em>something, anything</em>. It doesn't matter what it is, I'm the only one who is there for her.</p><p>Two weeks ago, one of my best friends stopped by my house. She and her child needed a place to stay. They had no lights, no heat and no hot water in their house. Hotel Danielle was officially opened within a matter of minutes. I provided beds for both and hot meals and baths ever since. In a couple days, she will move into a new home. Then, Danielle's Moving Service (and I think Redecorating Service) will officially be open for business. Oh, and may I add, the next door neighbor is moving out, too. Guess who she called to help her???</p><p>Yes, I am being poured out. My husband is right here with me. We don't exactly know what God is doing through all of this, but we know He's doing <em>something. </em></p><p><em></em>I can't help but stop and chuckle. A few years ago, had I been pulled in this many directions, I would have been ghost. I wouldn't answer my door or phone. I mean, sure, I've always been a servant, but not to this many people all at the same time.</p><p>I stop again and think of Our God. He has the concerns of the world being prayed in His ears. The people who need Him far outnumber the little group I'm serving. And I praise the Lord because when we need something He is never "ghost". He is ever-present. He always listens. He never leaves and never forsakes. I stand in awe, and am so glad to have learned, of His amazing Love for me.</p><p>Today's email scripture from "My Utmost For His Highest" states:</p><p>As My Father hath sent Me, even so send I you. John 20:21</p><p>"A missionary is one sent by Jesus Christ as He was sent by God. The great dominant note is not the needs of men, but the command of Jesus. The source of our inspiration in work for God is behind, not before. The tendency today is to put the inspiration ahead, to sweep everything in front of us and bring it all out to our conception of success. In the New Testament the inspiration is put behind us, the Lord Jesus. The ideal is to be true to Him, to carry out His enterprises. </p><p>Personal attachment to the Lord Jesus and His point of view is the one thing that must not be overlooked. In missionary enterprise the great danger is that God's call is effaced by the needs of the people until human sympathy absolutely overwhelms the meaning of being sent by Jesus. The needs are so enormous, the conditions so perplexing, that every power of mind falters and fails. We forget that the one great reason underneath all missionary enterprise is not first the elevation of the people, nor the education of the people, nor their needs; but first and foremost the command of Jesus Christ - 'Go ye therefore, and teach all nations.'</p><p>When looking back on the lives of men and women of God the tendency is to say - What wonderfully astute wisdom they had! How perfectly they understood all God wanted! The astute mind behind is the Mind of God, not human wisdom at all. We give credit to human wisdom when we should give credit to the Divine guidance of God through childlike people who were foolish enough to trust God's wisdom and the supernatural equipment of God."</p><p>I am not wise or astute. I am quite the opposite. Although I have not disappeared from the needs of my fellow man, I have done my share of complaining. But I can see His hand now. I can see His work. Throughout my exhaustion, I continue to serve and bite my tongue, giving Him more thanks for equipping me more than I turn to whining.<br /></p>My house is still unfinished. I have two more rooms of boxes and bags to go through. In the meantime, my washer died. I also wanted to get the landscaping done before winter sets in. But that's probably not going to happen and yet, all of this doesn't matter any more.<br /><br />I thank the Lord for the chance to be used. I thank the Lord because He chose someone like me. I thank the Lord, for although I've let Him down time and time again, He continues to mold me and shape me, purify and refine me. He's given me a ministry to reach those who now stand where I once stood. It isn't comfy cozy - there's a lot of sacrifice, exhaustion and no paybacks. There's a lot of going deep inside myself and revealing stuff I would never choose to share. There's a pouring out - there's no other way to explain it. I give and give and give of myself - as did our Lord, and I know you've been there, too.<br /><br />But isn't this what we are called to be? Missionaries to the world? We are to be Christ-like. We are to have compassion. We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus.<br /><br />I may never go to Africa or Honduras or anywhere overseas for that matter, in the name of missions. I went to the Navajo reservation once in New Mexico and Arizona. But my mission field is right here, right now, next door, in my home, for my family, for my friends. We can never stop being Christ to those in need.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-26725159247875682722008-10-10T14:52:00.003-04:002008-10-10T14:57:44.595-04:00All the way my Savior leads me...There's nothing to write and nothing to say that says it better than this right now.<br /><br />From my favorite Christian Artist of all time, Rich Mullins.<br /><br /><div align="center">All the way my Savior leads me </div><div align="center">What have I to ask beside? </div><div align="center">Can I doubt His faithful mercies,</div><div align="center">Who through life has been my guide? </div><div align="center">Heavenly peace, divinest comfort </div><div align="center">Ere by faith in Him to dwell </div><div align="center">For I know whate'er fall me </div><div align="center">Jesus doeth all things well </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">All of the way my Savior leads me </div><div align="center">And He cheers each winding path I tread </div><div align="center">Gives me strength for every trial </div><div align="center">And He feeds me with the living bread </div><div align="center">And though my weary steps may falter </div><div align="center">And my soul a-thirst may be </div><div align="center">Gushing from a rock before me </div><div align="center">Though a spirit joy I see </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center">And all the way my Savior leads me </div><div align="center">Oh, the fullness of His love </div><div align="center">Perfect rest in me is promised </div><div align="center">In my Father's house above </div><div align="center">When my spirit clothed immortal </div><div align="center">Wings it's flight through the realms of the day </div><div align="center">This my song through endless ages </div><div align="center">Jesus led me all the way</div>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-52305110599609249432008-07-15T10:32:00.004-04:002008-07-15T12:33:09.931-04:00BurdenedWell, it has been three months since my last post. I promised you I'd write more. I promised you I'd be more faithful to your need for encouragement, but alas, I have failed you due to my own whirlwind of spiritual growth. When things start happening at a certain speed in my life, it is the most difficult thing for me to stop, sit down and write to you about what has been going on.<br /><br />I have tried. I have prayed to God that He would bring His message forth for you. But each time, the message became many fragmented messages, and I knew not where to begin. That is, until today. I received this scripture in my inbox and I <em>knew.</em> This is what sums up all of my experiences in the past months. This scripture penetrated my heart and even now, at this moment, I feel like someone is stepping on my heart with a heavy combat boot until I get this message to you.<br /><br />Romans 1:14<br />I am debtor both to the Greeks, and to the barbarians.<br /><br />From "My Utmost for His Highest":<br />"Paul was overwhelmed with the sense of his indebtedness to Jesus Christ, and He spent himself to express it. The great inspiration in Paul's life was his view of Jesus Christ as his spiritual creditor. Do I feel that sense of indebtedness to Christ in regard to every unsaved soul? The spiritual honour of my life as a saint is to fulfill my debt to Christ in relation to them. Every bit of my life that is of value I owe to the Redemption of Jesus Christ; am I doing anything to enable Him to bring His Redemption into actual manifestation in other lives? I can only do it as the Spirit of God works in me this sense of indebtedness.<br /><br />I am not to be a superior person amongst men, but a bondslave of the Lord Jesus. "Ye are not your own." Paul sold himself to Jesus Christ. He says - I am a debtor to everyone on the face of the earth because of the Gospel of Jesus; I am free to be an absolute slave only. That is the characteristic of the life when once this point of spiritual honour is realized. Quit praying about yourself and be spent for others as the bondslave of Jesus. That is the meaning of being made broken bread and poured out wine in reality."<br /><br />This is where I stand right now - in debt to you and in debt to Christ. I owe you something. I owe you the knowledge and assurance of God. Because I have it. Simply because I have it, I owe it to you.<br /><br />Let me tell you a story about a little girl who grew up with a lot of pain. This little girl had a tumultuous relationship with her father, was rejected by her grandmother, was abused by a family member and faced further rejection time and time again throughout her life until she almost felt she wasn't worth anything.<br /><br />But deep inside her heart, God had planted a seed - a calling. She belonged to Him and He was never going to let her go.<br /><br />But when a child experiences rejection, they learn to reject. This little girl didn't know how to accept love - especially something seemingly so far off and distant as God's love, so she ran. Every time God showed her a blessing, she turned the other way. She ran and ran and tried to control her life and make her own way. But because God still loved this child, He wouldn't let her have her way. He wanted her to have His way and maybe, just maybe, accept that all the pain she had been through as God's purpose for her life.<br /><br />And here I am - no longer a little girl, but finally accepting the fullness of God's Love as a little child. God has brought me to the crossroads in recent months and He has finally revealed His purpose for my life. Psalms 138:8 says He's going to fulfill His purpose for me. You're a part of that purpose.<br /><br />In January of 2007, I began walking. I was tired of bouncing around like a molecule in life, not knowing where to go. I was tired of the rejection letters from potential employers. I needed a job. So with a college degree, I became a doughnut fryer at Weis Markets. I saw hours of the morning you may never see.<br /><br />Then Wal-Mart called me for a third shift stockperson position. Although I still knew that this was not where I would be forever, while I was stocking shelves, I continued to talk with God and sing His praises.<br /><br />Then He called me to The Pregnancy Care Center. It was here where the real work began. Just like Moses, God brought me to the place of my greatest sin, and He revealed His purpose for my life. He showed me the tools I had in my hands - writing, performing, speaking and singing - that I would use like Moses' mighty staff, if I would just throw these tools to the ground and see what God would do with them. He called me to revisit the deep pains of my past, rip off those ugly scabs that had grown infectious and receive the cleansing of the true Antiseptic - the blood of Jesus Christ.<br /><br />I began to write a book about my pain and healing. On June 17th, completely frustrated with my work at The Pregnancy Care Center, I prayed that God would show me how much longer I needed to work there. I told God I knew He had me there for a reason and I wouldn't leave until He released me. Four days later, I was called into the Executive Director's office and they even used these words, "We're releasing you." Although I cried, it wasn't tears of sadness. I knew God was about to do something big.<br /><br />Six days later, I submitted my book proposal to Hartline Literary Agency. Five days later, Hartline wrote to me to tell me they accepted my proposal and will represent me for the publishing of my book.<br /><br />Now you would think I would be swinging from the chandeliers with praise. For a couple days, I was. I was on cloud nine. But the reality is, not everyone is going to read this book. I have to figure out other ways to reach those of you who now stand where I once stood so I may bring you healing.<br /><br />These are the scriptures I'm leaning on <em>real hard </em>right now:<br />Luke 4:18<br />The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because He hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; He hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.<br /><br />Colossians 2:1-3<br />1 For I would that ye knew what great conflict I have for you…and for as many as have not seen my face in the flesh; 2 That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; 3 In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.<br /><br />I am in debt to you. I am burdened for <em>you.</em><br /><br />Whether you are in my Theatre Company and choose to mock God when I mention Him, or you are in my church and know me well; whether you are the mean guy who pushes the carts at Weis Markets or my friend who says they believe in God but won't commit much more than that, I am <em>burdened </em>for <em>you.</em><br /><em></em><br />God has delivered me from a painful past. Women who have lived lives like mine usually get caught up in a life of alcohol, drugs and meaningless, loveless relationships - seeking love in all the proverbial wrong places and ending up emptier than empty. (yes, that is possible.)<br /><br />God has directed my paths. All I had to do was start walking - learning to rely on Him and praise Him when the storms were blowing - seeing His truth in all of my circumstances.<br /><br />God has healed me. One by one, my infections of FEAR, sarcasm and rage are disappearing. He is replacing the ugliness with a new countenance.<br /><br />God loves me. He loves you, but for whatever reason, you keep Him at arm's length, or maybe even a mile away. Someone somewhere, hurt you or rejected you along the way and when you think of God you think to yourself, "I'll never be good enough for God's Love, so why should I even try."<br /><br />Well, friend, my Bible tells me "For God so loved the world, He gave His only Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall have eternal life." God "so loved (you)" He gave His son to die, and it wasn't a pretty death either. At that moment of His death, even God turned His face. For at that moment Jesus represented all of the sin and the ugliness of the world - of you and me. Talk about rejection, especially when Jesus didn't deserve it.<br /><br />I am burdened for you. And why? Because I want this for you. I want you to be healed. I want you to be freed from the vicious cycle of walking, falling down, and having to pull yourself back up. I want you to experience the fullness of God's love for you. I want you to know what that's like. I want your freedom!<br /><br />I want you to experience true forgiveness - forgiveness for yourself, your offenders and maybe even God. I want you to be able to forgive your offenders, but first you have to repent of the hatred you have held in your own hearts against those offenders. Yes you have, don't pretend you haven't hated them for all these years.<br /><br />You then need to ask God to call up every offender in the movie screen of your brain. One by one, forgive them. This may take awhile.<br /><br />Then, you have a couple of options, you can come accountable to those you've hurt, or not. We can let God work that one out.<br /><br />But finally, you have to forgive God. Don't deny you've been mad at Him, too. You have. Admit it. Also, it's here that you might have to forgive yourself for being the wayward child that you've been. You did some ugly things while you were off the path God designed for you. You let yourself down and you haven't forgiven yourself. Yes you did, don't deny it. We all have.<br /><br />Then, believe and receive. Believe in His word. Receive His love. God's Love is not conditional.<br /><br />Tell me how I can help you. Tell me where I need to go to reach you. The weight on my heart still hasn't lifted. I am still in debt to you. I still have great conflict for you. But until you tell me or God shows me what I can do for you or how I can reach you, I can only continue to pray for you, and I will.<br /><br />Jesus died for <em>you. </em><br /><em>Yes, you.</em>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-32903217861791993372008-04-08T08:11:00.015-04:002008-04-10T01:25:54.217-04:00Back to the BasicsGod is bringing me into a new season. The season that I have just come out of was a season of service - staying behind the scenes, helping people achieve goals in their own walks and service to God. During this season of service, I became an Encourager. I had grasped an understanding of the attributes of God - who He is and how He works. In this season, I was able to push people on when life was getting them down - reminding them of God's Promises - gently pushing them to praise when they only wanted to wail. Of course I will continue to help anyone where I can, but God is showing me it is my turn to get back to the basics of Life. I am now a student - I must garner a better understanding of scripture - build my knowledge and understanding of His Word in preparation for my call.<br /><br />This morning, instead of reading my email devotional and spending the rest of my morning praying, I began to dig a little deeper into the text of my devotional. So much was revealed to me in just one basic chapter of Luke. I had gone to bed last night, troubled with a thought on my mind. This morning, the answer was revealed. I'm learning more and more about that joy which comes in the morning.<br /><br />The trouble in my mind popped up when I just happened to stop by the bookstore yesterday afternoon. Derek loves to peruse the collection of Graphic Novels since he's busy writing a very kingdom-minded one himself. I wasn't really looking for anything - just glancing at titles really. Then, one book title jumped out at me, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061173975/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top"><span style="color:#000000;">God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question--Why We Suffer</span></a><span style="color:#000000;">."</span><br /><br />I was immediately annoyed. Who are all these people who walk away from God and get these lucrative book deals to write <em>against</em> God's Word? As someone who is doing everything I can to birth a book <em>for </em>God's Kingdom, this title stuck in my craw, so to speak. Although I wasn't about to buy the book and read it, I did check out its summary and reviews on good old Amazon.com. I'm still annoyed.<br /><br />Reviewer after reviewer talked about how great this book was, how it raised questions which have plagued Christians for years - how it reminded them of why they "left the faith," so to speak. There were a few who challenged the idea that the author didn't give any real answer in conclusion, but as I told you, my answer came in the morning. <p>I woke up to an email devotional entitled: HIS RESURRECTION DESTINY. The scripture was Luke 24:26 "Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into His glory?<br /><br />"My Utmost for His Highest" states:<br />"Our Lord's Cross is the gateway into His life: His Resurrection means that He has power now to convey His life to me. When I am born again from above, I receive from the Risen Lord His very life.<br /><br />Our Lord's Resurrection destiny is to bring "many sons unto glory." The fulfilling of His destiny gives Him the right to make us sons and daughters of God. We are never in the relationship to God that the Son of God is in; but we are brought by the Son into the relation of sonship. When Our Lord rose from the dead, He rose to an absolutely new life, to a life He did not live before He was incarnate. He rose to a life that had never been before; and His resurrection means for us that we are raised to His risen life, not to our old life. One day we shall have a body like unto His glorious body, but we can know now the efficacy of His resurrection and walk in newness of life. "I would know Him in the power of His resurrection."<br /><br />"As Thou hast given Him power over all flesh, that He should give eternal life to as many as Thou hast given Him." "Holy Spirit" is the experimental name for Eternal Life working in human beings here and now. The Holy Spirit is the Deity in proceeding power Who applies the Atonement to our experience. Thank God it is gloriously and majestically true that the Holy Ghost can work in us the very nature of Jesus if we will obey Him."<br /><br />Christ suffered. He suffered persecution, suspicion, speculation. He suffered misunderstanding by His peers and His disciples.<br /><br />Christ suffered what would be deemed today as cruel and unusual punishment. He was beaten and spat on, His body pummeled, His flesh ripped open. His hands were pierced. His feet were skewered. His arms stretched so far as to cause asphyxiation - He couldn't breathe because His chest could not move to take in air.<br /><br />Christ Suffered. And He did it so that we could enter into Glory with Him. We did nothing to deserve it. We did nothing to make God love us. But God loved us enough to give Christ to suffer and die for us.<br /><br />We, as believers, are to become like Christ. We are to die to ourselves and live as Christ lived, love as Christ loved. And yes, sometimes, we must suffer. But all things - whether accepted as a test of faith, or a testimony to a miracle - are meant for our good and are designed so we may enter into the Glory of the Living God.<br /><br />Who are nonbelievers to question this? This one author has written a series of books - all questioning and attempting to debunk Christianity - most of these books were written by former believers who just didn't get it but are now serving the devil by trying to tear down the building up of the kingdom of God. What a shame.<br /><br />Matthew Henry's Complete Commentary had an interesting take on this verse in Luke:<br />"He could not have been a Saviour, if He had not been a sufferer. Christ’s undertaking our salvation was voluntary; but, having undertaken it, it was necessary that He should suffer and die. Secondly, that, when He had suffered these things, He should enter into His glory, which He did at His resurrection; that was His first step upward. Observe, it is called His glory, because He was duly entitled to it, and it was the glory He had before the world was; He ought to enter into it, for in that, as well as in His sufferings, the scripture must be fulfilled. He ought to suffer first, and then to enter into His glory; and thus the reproach of the cross is for ever rolled away, and we are directed to expect the crown of thorns and then that of glory."<br /><br />We are "directed to expect the crown of thorns and then that of glory." I don't know where these nonbelieving authors are searching and not finding, but the Bible has never failed me.</p>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-25291496787438811312008-02-11T12:13:00.004-05:002008-03-29T13:14:35.805-04:00Spiritual WedgiesI promised you the last time I wrote, I would become more faithful in my encouragement to you. I would write more of these little snippets in this blogosphere because I believe this indeed, is one of my purposes in life.<br /><br />I want you to know, I did not forget you. I want you to know, weeks ago I set to writing this message - "Spiritual Wedgies." I wrote it, clicked "save," walked out of the room to refill my coffee, and when I returned, my computer had entered into one of those "automatic download/restart modes." When I turned my computer back on and logged back into this blog's management site - there was nothing. NOTHING. I received a Spiritual Wedgie while writing a blog about Spiritual Wedgies. Coincidence? I think not.<br /><br />So, being absolutely spent for the moment, I let it go. I decided I would return to it eventually amidst my other writing projects. And I did. I came back to write it again. Guess what happened? My newly revived laptop - with its brand new hard drive - developed a faulty power cord. If I so much breathed the wrong way - Power Out. Game Over. No Battery back up. No hibernation mode. Dead. There was virtually nothing I could do about it except buy another power cord.<br /><br />I shopped around. Best Buy - do they really live up to their name? Staples - puleeze - theirs was $83 bucks and they couldn't guarantee me that it was compatible with my model. Wal-Mart - good old Wally World - they had the best price, the universal adapters and all, BUT, I would have to wait two weeks because they were out of stock.<br /><br />So I waited. I hate waiting. Did I tell you the subject of the book I am writing is WAITING? Yeah, God's working that one out! Anyway... so in my waiting period, I decide to go back to my faithful dinosaur PC which sits in the corner of my Dining Room. Now, before I got my laptop up and running, I had been working on my dinosaur with absolutely no problems at all. What happens when I try to start managing different writing projects there? I run out of internal memory. No matter how many files I deleted, the thing just chugged and chugged and hiccupped and chugged until I physically felt I was going to scream.<br /><br />And that, my friends, is an example of a Spiritual Wedgie.<br /><br />They come like a thief in the night. They are irritating. They are ruthless. They can make the greatest of spiritual highs fall down into the lowest of lows. They bite at you, with each nibble, filling you up with all of the irritable ugliness of the person you used to be and were afraid to become again. What are they? They are Spiritual Wedgies and they've come to steal your joy.<br /><br />Forgive my humor as I talk about a subject that is serious. Sometimes, there is no other way to make plain what spiritually happens to us except to use the very commonplace, something to which we all can relate.<br /><br />We all have a place on our bodies where our two legs join together at a place which is known as our hindquarters. I now feel like I'm referring to horses, but anyway.... We all wear clothing - be it pants, underwear, skirts, even hose, ladies, and we ALL inevitably have had a time in our life where the fabric on our bodies gets bunched up into that little space between our, ahem, hindquarters, and things start to get uncomfortable. That's the very unofficial definition of something sixth-graders still giggle about - A Wedgie. It is a little wedge of fabric, if you will, that gets into the wrong place at the - wait, is there ever a right time? - and it irritates us until we have no choice but to find relief.<br /><br />Have you ever been in a conversation where you are looking someone right in the eye while they are talking? They are talking, talking, talking, talking, but you're not hearing a word they're saying. The only thing on your mind is, "I have to pick this wedgie."<br /><br />Sometimes, we can do it with the greatest of ease. We grab a hold of our pant legs as we stand up - voila - no one saw anything. But there are those which, no matter how much you slide, bend, scoot or dig, they're not coming out. You must excuse yourself to the bathroom for true Wedgie Extraction.<br /><br />Sometimes we don't even realize they are the cause of our irritability. Ladies did you ever go an entire day feeling irritable and as soon as you took off your shoes, you felt better? It's as if the shoes themselves are pinching your happiness nerve and not letting endorphins get to your brain. You don't know why you are so miserable. But then the shoes come off and "ahhhh...," you feel better. You think, "Oh my gosh, my shoes were bugging me all day and I didn't even realize it." That's how wedgies work and Spiritual Wedgies work even harder. The only difference is Spiritual Wedgies usually last longer than a day and affect all those around you and leave a disaster in their wake.<br /><br />I started this post on February 11th. Today is March 29th. For nearly six weeks, I have been attempting to get this message to you. All the while, the Wedgies have persisted. Two weeks ago, I reached a chapter in my book that was based on Psalms 27:14, “ Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” I knew exactly what it meant but I was having the greatest struggle putting it into words. Then this past week came into existence.<br /><br />Monday was like any other Monday. I was exhausted from an overly zealous Easter weekend with my four children, but it was Monday - my lack of excitement was to be expected. Some issues had arisen with our Theatre Company, which I decided to deal with later and I trudged on.<br /><br />Tuesday, I woke up in extreme pain. It seems I had “slept wrong” and I could not move my right leg. I couldn’t even lift it to pull my pants on as I was getting dressed. I had important meetings at work in preparation for a big event that was held today. I could not call in sick. I had no choice but to grab my cane and almost literally, drag myself to work.<br /><br />Wednesday, I visited the chiropractor and was feeling a little better physically, but in various situations in my workplace, things were not going well. Deadlines were being missed. Stress was mounting. The issues with the Theatre Company were still not resolved.<br /><br />Thursday, it seemed like nothing got done at work. All of our printed materials were supposed to be delivered. Our screen printed baseball hats were supposed to be delivered. As I left work for the day, knowing how much work awaited us on Friday, I just looked at my Supervisor and said, “It’s all going to be fine. God’s going to work it all out.” I left work that day knowing He would.<br /><br />Thursday night, as I was preparing for the Theatre Company to meet with members from Harbor Light and Manna Unlimited Motivations to rehearse for the program we are performing at Revival Tabernacle on April 6th - “How May I Help You? A Celebration of Hope & Healing for Our Nation and Community,” my printer refused to print the scripts and my laptop kept powering down for no reason. I dragged my laptop and printer to the rehearsal. When the script started to print, I ran out of toner.<br /><br />Finally, Friday morning, I arrive at work, fully expecting everything to be there, ready to be assembled into packets. Surely God had come through for us.<br /><br />My Supervisor walks into my office and runs down a litany of bad news. Our printed materials have not even been printed. The hats are probably not going to get here, and the rest of what we needed to create, print and distribute was yet to be determined. Again, stress mounted. Slowly, our work started to come together. Then, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED? The printer/copier BROKE DOWN.<br /><br />Those of you who know me would think by now that I would have turned into my alter-ego Katie Kaboom - you know the old Danielle who used to scream, get mad, thrust into action which consisted of slamming doors and pounding tables. But Katie didn’t show up. I calmly came up with a Plan B - run to Staples and make copies, but I first had to run home for a CD-R. When I stopped at home, I remembered I needed something else to be ready for me when I got back to the office, so I called. The printer had miraculously started printing, there was no need for me to go to Staples. By the time I got back to the office, everything was printed and the icing on the cake - the baseball hats were delivered moments later. The printed materials had not only been printed, but they had been picked up in Williamsport and were on their way “home.“ Everything came together beautifully and God worked everything out.<br /><br />In life, there will always be the unexpected events of flat tires, cars not starting, unexpected bills, direct deposits not being deposited directly, landlords who decide to sell the house you're renting, printers, computers and other gadgets not doing what they’re supposed to do to make life easy - you name it - there is plenty in this life that can be irritating. This - the stuff of which life is made - has a tendency to get under our skin, get us down in the dumps, makes us feel defeated. And when you let a wedgie like this ride, you can be in a bad mood for weeks until you suddenly stop and realize it's time for Wedgie Extraction.<br /><br />God gave me a promise - several promises actually - but the one that will act as the trigger for the domino effect which puts the rest into action is the book I'm writing. I believe this promise. I hold onto this promise. This promise has been affirmed and confirmed in so many ways, I can't begin to tell you. Maybe someday I will.<br /><br />All of this started with a dream about being pregnant, but in the dream, the child within me died. The following Sunday, Prophet Tim Hines was at church and said, "God conceived something in you a year ago and it died inside of you. Now is the time to PUSH!" Because of the significance of this pregnancy imagery, I've begun to realize that my Spiritual Wedgies are like contractions. I've learned something, though. I'm not focusing on the little ceramic bunny in the corner while I do my Lamaze, I've got my eyes on God. I'm RESTING in HIS PROMISE!<br /><br />Something tells me there are some of you out there reading this right now that are going through something. And it's not just one thing, it's one thing after another, after another. It's driving you crazy. You can't get a break. Your mood is altered and your biting heads off left and right if someone so much as dares to ask you a question.<br /><br />You, my friend, have a Spiritual Wedgie and yes, you're due for extraction.<br /><br />Now, more than ever, renounce that devil whose taking joy in your anger. Don't let him ride! Don't let him steal your joy in the Lord. Don't you realize you're giving him what he wants! Renounce him by the blood of Christ - you're free! He can't take a hold of you and your situation because God already claimed you as His own.<br /><br />Then breathe. Ask the Lord to open the eyes of your heart to see where the lesson needs to be learned - to see the next step that has to be taken. Not all of these attacks are from the devil. The Lord is trying to show you something, too.<br /><br />Keep your eyes on God. Seek patience, faith, hope, joy and rest in His grace. It is there for you to have because He loves you - not because of anything you've done or because of anything you are, but because of who He is and what He's done.<br /><br />I see now - Satan has been doing a little dance through the access to the technology in my life and my health. This just confirms the fact my book must somehow be a threat. He knows it is meant to save souls somewhere, so he's trying to stop it.<br /><br />The ministry of the Pregnancy Care Center where I work is also a threat - we’re saving lives and changing lives of the men and women we meet. We have been blessed to introduce many of our clients to Christ. Certainly, the devil doesn’t want that!<br /><br />Community Hope Help and Healing? Does the devil want this? Does the devil want us to commemorate the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr and re-assess our commitment to social justice? Of course not! That means we as a church might re-ignite our call to reach out to all who are oppressed in the Name of Jesus and also take a stance against our own complacency!<br /><br />Satan might as well bark up somebody else's tree! Through it all, I haven't given in to his lures and temptations. I have clung to God's promise to me. There were moments, sure, when I felt like screaming, but I fixed my eyes on God again and He helped me through the next big push.<br /><br />In my waiting, God revealed to me (very vividly, may I add) how this next chapter will take shape. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”<br /><br />Now I challenge you to stop letting those Spiritual Wedgies steal your joy in the Lord. Extract them!!! Rest in the knowledge of God and His grace and He, as always, will pull you through. Be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-363528225928423862008-01-26T08:53:00.000-05:002008-01-26T10:09:17.901-05:00I'm Still WalkingForgive my absence, dear friends. It has been an interesting time for me. I am absolutely awestruck by the way in which my faith has continued to be tried, stretched, knocked down, internally and externally tested over and over again, but here I am. I am still walking.<br /><br />In the midst of it all, I have learned to praise God for all things. All good gifts around us are sent from Heaven above. If you woke up this morning, Praise God. If you were able to accomplish even one load of laundry, Praise God. If you ate at least one meal, Praise God. The list can go on and on and on, and will forever in my life.<br /><br />While I haven't been writing my blog, I have been writing a book. It is entitled, "As I Wait Upon the Lord." When I haven't been working on my book, I have been crafting "Stonez of Remembrance," my new line of prayer beads that I will be exhibiting and selling on consignment. When I haven't been beading, I've been sculpting "Soul Sisterz," my new line of hand-felted dolls. I have also been moving my Theatre Company forward with some performances, illustrating a children's book, helping to manage the creation of my husband's Graphic Novel, and working with three groups of musicians in the composing of the 22 songs that Derek, our friend Lisa Rae and I wrote for next fall's play, "The Rhythm and the Blues." I've also been coaching Ellen's "Odyssey of the Mind" team and being lastly, but never least - a wife and mother.<br /><br />So, you might say I've been busy. I've been busy searching for what God will have me do for the sole purpose of bringing Him glory, and He has definitely filled my cup. In all of my "busy-ness," God is there. He never leaves my thoughts. I have reached a place in my life that I've longed for - a measure of faith that is tangible and visible. It's even audible when I'm singing His praises while I'm cleaning my kitchen. It is far too easy in this fast-paced, chaotic world to forget to "squeeze God in" somewhere. And so, I rejoice in letting you know that I'm still walking.<br /><br />So why am I telling you this? Why do I keep this blog? Why do I feel compelled in such a busy schedule and life that I lead, to come here in front of my dinosaur computer and write a message to you? I could just as easily write this as a chapter in my book. Why did Paul write letters to the church of Corinth and places beyond?<br /><br />I can tell you that I feel God calls me to do this, to write this. But why? I can tell you. There is one simple thing that every human being needs in this world. It's a form of love, but not just love. It's not food. It's not water. It's something beyond that. <br /><br />It's Encouragement.<br /><br />I write this blog - one of my too many ministries - to encourage you. Because I know that God wants more of you and He wants to provide more <em>for</em> you. He wants more of your life and He wants more <em>for</em> your life. He wants more of your time and He wants you to have more <em>for </em>your time. He wants to bless you daily. He wants you to love Him. He wants to love you.<br /><br />When we draw nearer to God, He draws nearer to us. God wants to live in our working and playing, in our lying down and in our rising up.<br /><br />I have learned this. It has been a long, hard road. For the most part, I've made it harder for myself as I did more ignoring God than hearing Him over the years. But now that I'm walking, it is part of my walk to tell you. It is now my journey to "Go Tell It on the Mountain" what God has done in my life. <br /><br />I regret the fact that it has taken eight weeks to sit down and do this. I have so much more to tell you - miracles that were performed right in front of my eyes:<br /> - walking away from a thunderous crash of my car and another colliding, without a scratch on either vehicle<br />- after living six months without a dryer to aid my laundry for a household of six, looking at my dryer and saying, "Lord, I really need a miracle right now," plugging the thing in and it starting<br />-waking up last Saturday, crippled with pain - for those of you who don't know, I have Fibromyalgia - and just praying and feeling this... healing, there is no other word for it, moving through my body, releasing muscle fiber after muscle fiber<br />-and there's more.<br /><br />God is REAL, people. He is the Healer, the Deliver, the Mighty God, the Alpha, the Omega. He knows you, He wants you and He loves you. Why are we so afraid to be loved sometimes? God is perfect. His love His perfect. His love will never hurt you and it will never let you down.<br /><br />I plead for your forgiveness for not being faithful to you, dear friends. I know how badly we all need encouragement. I, myself, tend to get bogged down in self-doubt and second-guessing. I need encouragement and lots of it. I praise God for the husband that I have, because he actually <em>provokes</em> me to be encouraged. I know some of you actually look for my blog posting for this needed encouragement, and I failed you, if only momentarily.<br /><br />This morning, I woke up to take Derek to work. It takes me five minutes to go up the hill and down the hill, but I woke up thinking, "Ugh. I have to get up seven days a week. He gets to sleep in two days a week. That's not fair." I put it in my head that when I came back down that hill, I was heading right to my bed, and I didn't care when I got up. Then something changed in my spirit. God stepped in. I walked into the house. I made a pot of coffee. I put a load of laundry in the washer. I sat down to say my prayers. While I was praying, God said, "You have a blog to write." I thought to myself, "okay... on what subject?" God said, "Well, you're still walking."<br /><br />That's right - I am still walking. I don't think I've ever walked this long before. I've given into more temptations, fallen off the straight and narrow way, ignored God for weeks on end, run from God more times than I can count, but I - Danielle Renee Murphy Scott - I... am STILL... WALKING.<br /><br />WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH. - Did I ever tell you this keyboard doesn't have an exclamation point? Yeah - I'm really missing that right now.<br /><br />Praise God if you know what a miracle it is to be still walking today.<br /><br />I'm walking. But today, Lord, I feel like running.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-85268773766048385952007-12-12T11:56:00.000-05:002007-12-12T12:23:44.139-05:00At the Edge of His MercyI write to you today with a heavy heart. But in my physical darkness and sadness, the Lord is still with me and I will forever give Him praise. He has NOT cast me or my family out of the reach of His mercy. I wait in grateful expectation of how He's going to work all of this out.<br /><br />My parents home is no longer theirs - the home that I grew up in, the home that my children loved as "Mammy's House," the land my mother grew up on is no longer "Our Homestead." I did everything I could - everything I was called to do - to live out Isaiah 61 and offer healing to the broken and hope to the hopeless. But sometimes, as ministers, all we can do is sit back and watch our friends and family members make the same mistakes, run farther away and (my favorite part) after the world comes crashing down on them - blame someone else. It is an ugly cycle. It is a violent cycle. It is a weapon Satan uses with great success.<br /><br />Are you going to be the next victim?<br /><br />I've been giving you instructions in my last few posts of the precious little that God requires of you. I've called you. I've emailed you. I've prayed for you. I've cheered you on. But still, you cannot bring yourself to consummate your relationship with the Almighty, one true God who has the power to make you or destroy you, but right now, only wants to love you.<br /><br />I praise God for those who have heard me. I know God used me to reach some of you and I rejoice every time you walk through the church doors or mention His holy name in an email to me.<br /><br />But to those of you who refuse Him and me? How much more are you willing to lose?<br /><br />Are you willing to be so far out at the edge of His mercy that He forgets you altogether? You think He won't? Are you of use to Him right now? If the answer is "no," then why should He keep you in His care?<br /><br />If I were your child - your grown-up child - and I lived in your house and ate your food and left the lights on and ran up the water bill and didn't have a job and didn't clean up after myself and also never said "Thank you," would you keep me around? I wouldn't keep me around! (By the way, anyone want four kids? Just kidding.)<br /><br />Like Peter walking on the water towards Jesus, your faith has slipped and left you drowning. God could save you in a heartbeat, but you refuse to call out to Him and cry "Save Me." You may even be whining, ""Saaaave Meeeee, whaa, whaa, whaa," but you will not run to His embrace.<br /><br />I am an ACOA - an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. Naturally, I am an enabler. I want to fix everything and take on other people's burdens and lighten their load. When things go/went wrong in other people's lives, I somehow have always interpreted that it was my fault. I should have done more. If only I had..., I could have ... (fill in the blank.) I can stand right now with a clear conscience that I have done everything possible to be a light in your world.<br /><br />Some people just won't open the blinds.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-66094488733357275052007-11-16T09:45:00.000-05:002007-11-16T11:08:40.508-05:00UnshakeableI have a deep-guarded secret to share with all of you. It is something from which I shield my daughters. It is something that I have had to come to terms with as I notice the habits rearing their ugly heads in my speech.<br /><br />I am a Recovering Cheerleader.<br /><br />I thought it was all behind me - the chants, the stunts, the need to cheer people on. But then one day, in a wave it came to me.<br /><br />Zoe had woken up grumpy - GRUMPY. She was complaining about everything. She didn't want to get dressed. She didn't want to go to Grammy's. She didn't want breakfast. I said to her, "Zoe, you are certainly grumpy today. Jesus doesn't want us to be grumpy and whiney. Jesus calls us to be cheerful and joyful in the Lord and to let our lights shine. So why don't you say this with me:<br /><br />Step back, Devil<br />Get away from me.<br />I'm bought with the Blood,<br />so I have Victory. YEY GOD."<br /><br />There it was. The cheerleader was back.<br /><br />Zoe's attitude immediately changed as she was overcome with giggles. The whole way to Grammy's house, she kept saying, "How did that go again, Mommy? Say it again, Mommy." We repeated it over and over again. It changed both of our attitudes for the day and I rejoiced knowing that in these little ways I was demonstrating my faith to my children. My children, both the biological ones and the non-biological ones, know where I stand with God. The Lord is everything to me and I would be nothing without Him.<br /><br />I have been encouraged by some of you to turn this blog into a book. I have contacted a few publishers and found that a simple Devotional is not what the publishers are looking for right now. Now if I were Max Lucado or T.D. Jakes, I'd have a deal. But I'm Danielle Scott - a simple woman just trying to walk with the Lord every day.<br /><br />As I have read over my blogs from the past 18 months, I've been searching for a theme, if you will. Every book needs a theme, right? Every play needs a plot - a protagonist, an antagonist, a climax, a denouement or resolution. Well, this book needs a theme with a beginning, middle and ending.<br /><br />The one theme that pervades most, if not all of my posts, is Faith. Now Faith has many different meanings and takes many different forms. Faith is a journey that is begun every morning when you wake up. Faith begins the day you accept the Lord as your Savior and grows through weekly fellowship, Baptism, the reception of the Holy Spirit and continues on until something is born out of you - your ministry or ministries. Lessons in Faith come in seasons. I, myself, look back over the past eighteen months and see typically three-month periods where God was hammering a particular point home with me until I knew He was drawing a line in the sand and saying, "Danielle, it is time to step up <em>here</em>."<br /><br />I'm here to tell you today that I have reached a new plateau of Faith - one that I've desired and yearned for, one that amazes me in the fact that I got here and yet comforts me all at the same time. If I sound like I am boasting, please remember that Paul said we are to boast in the Lord. I did not get to where I am today without Christ working through me, but now that I stand where I stand in my walk with Christ, I desire the same for you.<br /><br />Today I can say for the first time in my life, "My Faith is Unshakeable." Over the past couple of months I have been bombarded with problems of my own as well as other people's problems. I spoke of some of these problems in my last post. I have friends who are being diagnosed with diseases like Multiple Sclerosis. I have friends who are going through divorce. I have a father who his facing foreclosure on his home because he can't find a job. I have friends whose jobs have either already been taken away or are in jeopardy. My daughter is in the process of being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder or worse, an Autism Spectrum Disorder. But I'm not flinching. By the power of Jesus Christ, I'm not wavering. I haven't gotten on my knees crying "Woe is me," once. Because I believe God. Period.<br /><br />I believe God uses all things to bring Him Glory. I said in my last post, "He will bring you to your knees so you get on your knees." In every situation, I have accepted the boldness with which God has infused me and spoken to each of these people. Now you know that's God, because I could never before get myself to speak to someone about God. That's why I created this blog - to say what I needed to say or what God wanted me to say without talking to a person directly or standing in front of a crowd.<br /><br />God ordains your circumstances. Do you know that? God ordains everything that happens to you until you get rightly related to Him. That's where I come in.<br /><br />I'm your personal Cheerleader. I can't believe I just said that, but in actuality, I've been examing where I belong in the body of Christ, and more and more, I see myself as a support person. Now I don't know if that means I'm a leg or a foot to stand on, or maybe a hand that reaches out, but I know that right now, I'm not on stage singing or preaching with all eyes on me. I'm suddenly what we would call in Theatre - Stage Crew - behind the scenes, if you will. God is using me and using this blog to reach out to you, speak into your circumstances and to cheer you on. The only things I got shaking are my pom-poms. I got my big megaphone yelling:<br /><br />"Hey, hey you,<br />there's nothing you can do<br />to stop - <em>clap, clap, clap</em><br />God's Power - <em>clap, clap</em><br />TONIGHT."<br /><br />Receive it. Accept it. Don't be afraid of it. God loves you. He wants to make a way where there is no way, if you will just let Him. He wants to draw the line in the sand and see you moving to the other side. You have nothing to fear. He is with you and in you and all around you. He is calling to you. Open your ears above the din of the world and HEAR HIM.<br /><br />I'll be here, cheering you on.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-42089847464801239592007-10-28T00:25:00.000-04:002007-10-28T01:34:59.894-04:00You Need ThisI apologize for the length of time it has taken me to write this. Some of you have contacted me to say, "I need you to write something. I need a message." For that, I thank you. Sometimes, okay, maybe a lot of times, I need encouragement to know what I'm doing through this blog has a purpose. Once again, it's not that God hasn't been speaking to me. It has been quite the opposite. I have been so overwhelmed with messages, visions, scriptures, prophecies and promises, it has been like being drowned in a Spiritual Tsunami. With not enough hours in the day since beginning my new job, I have only to continue to take mental notes, spiritual notes and wait to see what theme bubbles to the surface.<br /><br />Well, the theme has bubbled. The theme is you.<br /><br />I have come to the realization that if you're in my life, you're there for a reason. If I'm in you're life, I'm here for a purpose as well. God is using each of us and our connection with one another for a purpose and I'm about to step into mine.<br /><br />The Spiritual Tsunami that I have been experiencing has been yet another time of transformation for me. I had been going through a time of being a "shrinking violet," if you will - a wallflower. Once again a spirit of fear had gripped my life. I found myself desiring a boldness through Christ but not being able to step into that boldness. Well... no more.<br /><br />Long before Brother Tim Hines and Pastor Bond began preaching on John 7:38 - "He that believeth in me, out of him shall flow rivers of living water," that same scripture had been laid on my heart through my email devotional. With new boldness through only the power of Christ, I'm here to tell all of you who don't know Jesus like I know Jesus, I'm here to bring you living water.<br /><br />You know who you are. You are a person in my life who has been struggling to find a job. You're about to lose your house and everything you've worked for. You've been diagnosed with a debilitating disease. You're going through an unwanted divorce. You lost your job recently -unfairly and with little explanation. You consider yourself a Christian but the Devil has been lying to you about people who surround you, convincing you that we're all a bunch of hypocrites which fills you with anger and turns your heart away from the church.<br /><br />You know who you are and I'm using this forum given by God to speak to <em>you.</em> Because I <strong>know</strong> that sometimes God will bring you to your knees just so you<strong> get</strong> on your knees.<br /><br />When God wants you in His will, He'll do whatever it takes to get you there. You think by turning your back on God, you're safe? Forget it. This <strong><em>is</em></strong> God we're talking about. As Bill Cosby use to say to his children, "I put you in this world, I can take you out." If you're still here, you should be praising God that He's giving you one more chance to get your life back on track, 'cause you could be dead. You could be in Hell with no chance of seeing Heaven. But God's calling you up one more time, right now.<br /><br />Some of you are thinking, "Yeah, Whatever. She hasn't seen what I've seen. She hasn't lived what I've lived. She hasn't been where I've been. She hasn't done what I've done." Well, let me tell you something... two weeks ago I sobbed on the altar of my church because I was afraid to share my own testimony. I have been to some dark places. I have seen some ugly things. I have been despicable - DE-SPIC-A-BLE in the eyes of God - so despicable, in fact, that I fear if I share with you just one of the multitude of sins I have been entrapped in, you would have no respect for me. But I am reminded of one of my favorite T-shirt/bumper sticker slogans: "The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future." So I move forward, rejoicing that I have been forgiven and delivered from all of the ugliness, from all of the emptiness and from all of the darkness. Because I have known poverty of both means and spirit, I am here to promise you that your abundance is waiting. Because I have known brokenness of mind, body and spirit, I am here to tell you that your healing is near.<br /><br />Isaiah 61<br />"1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; 2 To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To grant those who mourn {in} Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.<br /><br />4 Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, They will raise up the former devastations; And they will repair the ruined cities, The desolations of many generations.<br /><br />5 Strangers will stand and pasture your flocks, And foreigners will be your farmers and your vinedressers.<br /><br />6 But you will be called the priests of the LORD; You will be spoken of {as} ministers of our God. You will eat the wealth of nations, And in their riches you will boast.<br /><br />7 Instead of your shame {you will have a} double {portion,} And {instead of} humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double {portion} in their land, Everlasting joy will be theirs.<br /><br />8 For I, the LORD, love justice, I hate robbery in the burnt offering; And I will faithfully give them their recompense And make an everlasting covenant with them.<br /><br />9 Then their offspring will be known among the nations, And their descendants in the midst of the peoples. All who see them will recognize them Because they are the offspring {whom} the LORD has blessed.<br /><br />10 I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.<br /><br />11 For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations. "<br /><br />God wants you for His own. God desires you for His will. He will not rest until you relinquish every last bit of what you think is your power, to Him.<br /><br />So, if you hear me, get on your knees and praise Him right now. Praise Him in the midst of your storm. I've learned that when the storms are raging, if you praise His name, your praises go up and part those storm clouds and the blessings come down.<br /><br />Praise Him because you know He hasn't forgotten you. Praise Him because He has not cast you aside. Praise Him because you could be dead, but He came that you might have life and have it abundantly.<br /><br />There's still time.<br /><br />Before I close, I have to share with you that now is not the time to be stubborn. Now is not the time to say, "Eh, I don't need God right now." NOW is the time for you to take this seriously.<br /><br />How funny it is to me that God has put me in a position where I feel like I'm begging each of you to come to God - you who have known God, you who chose to walk away, when just last week I met a 17 year-old girl who, within 20 minutes of talking to me said, "I want to know who Jesus is." She is a new Chinese immigrant and works at her parents' restaurant. Mae Ling was the first person ever put in my path who made it easy for me to share Jesus out of her pure, innocent desire to know. She heard about Jesus and wanted to know what Jesus could do in her life.<br /><br />You have learned, but yet you continue to reject Him. Spin your wheels all you want, but you'll go nowhere without Him.<br /><br />Now's the time.<br /><br />I feel like maybe you're again thinking, "Who does this woman think she is speaking like this?" Well, I wrote this two days ago on paper. This morning, I had an overwhelming vision of brokenness across this country. I saw men addicted to drugs, women recovering from abortions, children growing up fatherless. I was reminded that I live in the shadow of the Big House - I live on the reservation of the United States Penitentiary at Lewisburg and realized this morning that I am less than 1/2 mile from sin and disparity like you'll never know 1400 times over. I prayed to God, "Heal them, Lord, change the hardened hearts of men. Come down like rain to reveal yourself and transform these lives." There was a moment of silence and then I heard, loud and clear, "That's your job."<br /><br />Here I am Lord, send me.Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27347490.post-47688869639367367312007-08-29T12:52:00.000-04:002007-09-01T17:53:01.169-04:00Marriage<blockquote></blockquote><p>A message on marriage has been on my heart for months. God keeps showing me illustrations, verses and quotations that have pushed me to preach or write this message. The picture keeps getting clearer and I feel it is now time, dear friends, to share this message with you.</p><p>It all started in the spring when God first pointed out in me that I wasn't making time for Him in my life. There were times when I saw clearly that our relationship - God's and mine - was suffering. God put it on my heart that just as a married couple cannot go days or perhaps even one day without "checking in" with one another, God and I needed time together every day as well. So I heeded that call - to make time with God, to enter my prayer closet every day and just start the day with praising Him for the day before me. It has made an incredible difference. In the times that I have stumbled recently, I can see that it was those particular days that I did not stop and praise Him that helped to knock my focus off of the only One who deserves it. <br /><br />Fast forward a couple of months. I stepped outside of my church where my husband has stood for the past hour "chatting" with the guys. One man says, "Man... I'm telling my kids to never get married. Marriage is soooo hard." Derek tells me more of the conversation later. It seems this whole conversation of these men revolved around marriages and relationships and how you can never please women and blah, blah, blah. Derek related to me that he was so happy to be able to say, "Fellas.... I don't know what to tell you, but after Danielle and I butted heads for years, our marriage gets stronger every day." He said his eyes welled up with tears as another man standing there looked at Derek and said, "That's God."</p><p>I know that it's God that brought Derek and I out of darkness and brought us together. I know that it's God who took these two strong-headed and strong-willed people and their children, as well as the baggage from their pasts, and turned them into a TEAM. We say it to each other ALL the time, and we say it to our kids: "We're a team." And this team looks for every opportunity to bring Glory to God through our gifts and talents that God has given us. I praise God every day for bringing us together. I praise God every day for the ways in which He has stripped us of our old selves and made us new in Him. We would still be butting heads. We would still be scrapping every day. We could possibly be divorced and handing Zoe back and forth on weekends. Our Theatre Company would be no more and Ellen and I would no longer have much contact with Darianne and Julian. A family of six could have been reduced to ruins... BUT GOD. Oh, Hallelujah.</p><p>But with all this praise I have for God in my marriage and for my marriage, I have to stop and wonder why my Best Friend is going through a horrible divorce as I write this right now. I have to stop and ask myself why a man and fellow church member would be standing outside the doors of the church and saying, "My kids ain't getting married, if I can help it. Marriage is too hard." God has painted this wonderfully clear parallel in my spirit - let's call it "The Recipe for a Successful Marriage," or "The Blue Print." He calls me to share it with you.</p><p>The key to a successful marriage is this simple: "Love your spouse." Earth shattering, isn't it? But I know you don't realize the truth in that statement, so I will expound. I will show you the parallel that has been revealed to me regarding our relationships with our spouses and our relationships with God. But it starts with examining what "Love your spouse" truly means.</p><p>1 Corinthians 13<br />1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.</p><p>4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. </p><p>8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. </p><p>A wise man once told me to replace the word "Love" with "God." I see now that you can also replace the word love with "Praise" in terms of our relationship with God. And that's the secret.</p><p>When we learn as individuals in our marriages to truly love our spouse, it means to shower them with our love, our praise, our trust, our hope and our respect. When we learn to love our spouse and do everything for them, it frees up your spouse to reciprocate. Suddenly, all of your needs are being met by the other person. This is the making of a holy marriage. When you took your vows, there was supposed to be a "death of self," just as in Baptism. You were no longer two, but one in marriage. You can no longer live with your selfish desires before you. It is all about the other person now. But if you can accept this, your efforts will be rewarded through your spouse loving you back. </p><p>I once read that love is like a ball of liquid Mercury held in your hand. If you squeeze it too tightly, it squeezes through your fingers and is gone forever. But if you keep your hand open, allowing the other person to love you back, it will remain.</p><p>Now I challenge you to take this lesson and put it into the perspective of our relationship with God. When we shower God with our love, our praise, our trust, our hope and our respect, He has no choice but to return that love. Furthermore, it is our faith that allows us to praise God, despite our circumstances and despite what we are going through. If we focus on ourselves and on our circumstances, our eyes are no longer on God, but on ourselves. This is where our relationship starts to falter. This is where we find ourselves saying, "Oh, woe is me. I have it soooo hard. What am I going to do?" But in the moment that we cry out to God, He holds the power to change our circumstances and will do so because He loves us. </p><p>There is a speaker and author coming to The Pregnancy Care Center's Annual Fall Fundraising Banquet. His name is Gary Thomas and he is a prolific writer. One of his books, "Sacred Marriage" is subtitled, "What If God Designed Marriage To Make Us Holy More Than To Make Us Happy?" I have to wonder, what if? What if marriage was the physical and earthly training ground in order for us to be rightly related to God? Can we learn to love our spouses in the same way we are expected to love God?</p><p>Let us not forget that we are being prepared for another marriage. God is preparing our gowns of white for that day, described in Revelation 19:</p><p>5 And a voice came from the throne, saying, "Give praise to our God, all you His bond-servants, you who fear Him, the small and the great." 6 Then I heard {something} like the voice of a great multitude and like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, saying, "Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns. 7 "Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready."</p><p>The church is the bride. We are the bride.</p><p>God calls us to be holy, not happy. How many times have we heard this? 1 Peter 1:16 declares: Ye shall be holy; for I am holy. Holy means "Rightly related to God." Rightly related to God means: eyes fixed on Him, not having selfish desires, but wanting to give God what He wants. And what does He want? He wants our praise, our love and our acknowledgement at all times. Our spouses desire the same.</p><p>Derek and I were some ugly people. We were afraid to trust, afraid to love. We were unable to submit to one another. He had to be The Man, and I was not about to be the Subservient Wife. Both of us had to be right all the time. Everything was a fight: who was more intelligent, whose idea of raising children was better, who was cleaner, who was messier, who was a better steward of money - everything was a fight. But God was working in the midst of it all. I was seeking. Derek was seeking. Somewhere along the way, we realized that all either of us really wanted was to be loved. God helped us move beyond our fears and our need to be self-sufficent. God laid our selfish desires to death and instilled in us a new love and respect for one another. </p><p>On September 13th, Derek and I will celebrate our fourth Wedding Anniversary. On our fifth anniversary, in 2008, we are planning to renew our vows because, Praise God, we are not who we were back then.<br /><br />Our marriages are not meant to be a struggle, just as being a Christian is not supposed to be a struggle. We are not to walk around, saying, "Oh, this is soooo hard. God, why'd I get married?" That's like saying, "Oh God, why do you love me? Being a Christian is soooo difficult." Surrender to yourself. Love God. Love your spouse. And watch your needs get met. Yes, watch the blessings flow.</p><p>I wrote this song for Derek: <br />You walk into the room and at once my spirits soar.<br />It’s only been a moment, but it seems like so much more.<br />I love you that much<br />And your every touch<br />Sets my heart aflame.<br /><br />It’s been six long years and yet our love grows stronger every day.<br />There’s been so much doubt and so much hope, but now it seems we found our way.<br />God’s hand in it all<br />He wouldn’t let us fall<br />We give Him all the praise.<br /><br />It seems I found you and you found me<br />When we needed each other most<br />And we stitched together a family<br />By the Power of the Holy Ghost<br />And I don’t know where I’d be without you and I don’t really want to know<br />Once we were lost, but now we are found.<br />Together let’s grow.<br /><br />We both came from a place called “Self,” and it’s a lonely place to be.<br />No matter how we tried, how hard we kicked, we couldn’t seem to break free.<br />But then His good Grace<br />Shone on our face<br />And His Glory was revealed.<br /><br />I gave a little and you gave a lot and how the tables turned -<br />Both learning how to trust again, not afraid to get burned.<br />All of His love<br />Poured from above<br />And helped us to be healed.<br /><br />It seems I found you and you found me<br />When we needed each other most<br />And we stitched together a family<br />By the Power of the Holy Ghost<br />And I don’t know where I’d be without you and I don’t really want to know<br />Once we were lost, but now we are found.<br />Together let’s grow.<br /><br />You know tomorrow we don’t know<br />If the sun will shine or hide<br />But I know the only thing that matters<br />Is that you are by my side<br />You are my love, my help-mate<br />My husband, my Best Friend<br />Together we will run this race<br />With every rock and bend<br /><br />I don’t know what sets us apart; we watch those around us fall<br />I know too many times and too many hearts that get hid behind a wall<br />They think they gotta stay tough<br />It’s never enough<br />To protect yourself from pain<br /><br />You and I learned how to love by learning how to give<br />I got your back and you got mine, and that’s how we must live<br />Our needs always met<br />No regrets.<br />More sunshine than rain.<br /><br />It seems I found you and you found me<br />When we needed each other most<br />And we stitched together a family<br />By the Power of the Holy Ghost<br />And I don’t know where I’d be without you and I don’t really want to know<br />Once we were lost, but now we are found.<br />Together let’s grow.<br /><br />And I don’t know where I’d be without you and I don’t really want to know<br />Once we were lost, but now we are found.<br />Together let’s grow.<br /></p>Naked Turtlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08016708281750528217noreply@blogger.com0