Sunday, May 14, 2006

A New Song in My Heart

Oh Lord of All, Lord of Peace,
You call me now, "Prepare the Feast."

Oh Lord of All, Lord of Love,
You're in control -- below, above.

Oh Lord of All, Lord of Me,
You guide me strong, so faithfully.

I rest my heart here in Your hands.
Make me to shine throughout the lands.

Oh Lord of All, Lord of Days,
I'm before you now to give you Praise.

Where do I begin to express the joy I have found in the Lord as of late? So many moments. So many trials He brought me through. So many things He has put on my heart. So many visions He has given me. Ever been overwhelmed by God?

I am easily overwhelmed. I have been prescribed Zoloft to stop these feelings of being overwhelmed and therefore incapacitated in life. When I don't take my medicine, the kids get yelled at for everything. My husband gets the brunt of every bad mood. The house gets meticulously cleaned, alphabetized and color coordinated - but really, this isn't a good thing. Giving into my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder means I'm not paying attention to things that really matter like being a Mother, Wife, and Child of God.

But being overwhelmed by God is a true blessing. Being given visions lays my work out for me. Being blessed by a phone call from my Pastor when I am on my knees on the kitchen floor crying out to God is true joy. Feeling as if I am under complete attack by the Enemy reminds me that I must be doing something right or Satan wouldn't be trying so hard to break me down.

This week, I was truly under attack by forces which I have never encountered. Somebody or Something wanted to get me down. Something wanted to stop my husband and I from giving God the Glory! Every turn was blocked with some obstacle. Pastor had just spoken about the difference between running a race and running hurdles. Hurdles block your way. Hurdles slow you down. Hurdles get in your way and either need to be surpassed or knocked down, but because they are there, they will still affect your speed and effectiveness.

Well I ran a race this week, complete with hurdles. Our theatre company was to put on a production of my husband's original script - "My Soul Looked Back and Wondered" on Friday, May 12th, 2006 at 7 pm. Monday, we were supposed to meet with a local news station. An hour passed, they never showed. How could we reach the masses without TV coverage???? On Tuesday, our brother in Christ, fellow church member, and person who would be portraying Marcus Garvey and Paul Robeson emailed me to say that there was a death in his family he and he may or may not be able to do the show. Tuesday night, we had the most horrible rehearsal! And as I said in my earlier post - I turned into a true Eeyore. Wednesday, it was confirmed. Our Beloved Cast Member could NOT do the show. We did the best we could to film his performance and include it in the play.

Thursday - Dress Rehearsal - Everyone is SUPPOSED to be there. Everyone is supposed to know that rehearsal WILL run late. THIS is how we put a show together. Every time I turned around, another person had slipped away. Sure, they had bed times, I understand. But mannnn, this isn't how theatre is done!!!! I left Thursday night with at least 5 major jobs to be done before 7pm on Friday. Of course, I was the only person who was available to do them.

Friday morning I found myself on my knees, bawling to God. Each time I cried out, someone called with a ticket reservation to be made. One phone call while on my knees was from my Pastor. He told me how proud he was of Derek and I. He couldn't wait to see the video. My heart leaped with joy with these little blessings and I knew that everything was going to be okay.

I will admit, there were glitches. But one thing remained true: actors and nonactors alike, came together for the pure purpose of unity for this play. I don't care how that play may have dragged or seemed to have dragged. Pure magic came to that stage. And I give all the glory to God.

My three best friends live in New York City; Atlanta, Georgia; and Napa Valley, California. If it were not for the computer on which I type right now, allowing us to keep in touch, I would not have friends. Since Friday Night, I have been blessed with some incredible people and some incredible visions involving these people. I have made some real connections with God-led people -- something I have so desperately longed for in my life.

On the way back from driving one of our cast members home, I was driving my famous back road trek from Selinsgrove to Lewisburg. I thought to myself, "I feel like singing, what should I sing?" So I sang some contemporary praise song. When finished, I heard God speak, "Sing from your heart." I opened my mouth and out it came: "Lord of All, Lord of Peace, You call me now, 'Prepare the Feast'...." Wow!

God continues to give me Peace and hope for that heavenly banquet. He continues to be in control of all and guides me even if it's lifting me over hurdles. He continues to give my husband and I visions, plays, words, SONGS! All I want is to be a light that shines for all to see and to give Him praise every day.

For every little blessing, for every lift over life's hurdles, for every new friend who crosses your path, continue to praise Him and Acknowledge Him. And then bask in the glory of being absolutely, undeniably, and incredibly OVERWHELMED by God. I guarantee you'll never be the same.